Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Would you date someone accused of attacking wife (now separated)

(128 Posts)
Velvetrevolution Mon 19-Feb-18 21:17:33

This sounds a stupid question but would you rule out a second date with someone who had been arrested for attacking their wife? Imprisoned over the weekend but no charges brought. Presumably alleged physical assault, don’t know details.

Perendinate Mon 19-Feb-18 21:18:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ragusa Mon 19-Feb-18 21:19:51

No. Never. They may be innocent but I CBA to risk my health and happiness finding out. You don't get arrested for nothing.

Velvetbee Mon 19-Feb-18 21:20:44

No.

Icepink39 Mon 19-Feb-18 21:20:49

No i wouldnt if they done that to there wife then what could they do to you

Backenette Mon 19-Feb-18 21:21:14

Absolutely not, no.

I’m sure he will spin you a most convincing story as to why he’s a poor innocent land though,

windchimesabotage Mon 19-Feb-18 21:21:27

No, because I stupidly started a relationship with someone who was accused of assault (in my defence I was only 21 at the time) and they predictably went on to seriously assault me.

afreshnewname Mon 19-Feb-18 21:22:04

Yes, because we all know one spiteful bitch that would lie to cause trouble for an ex.

First sign of any aggression towards me is where I would draw the line

Glitterandunicorns Mon 19-Feb-18 21:22:19

Definitely not. If they have been violent to one partner, it's very likely they would be violent towards others.

fuzzywuzzy Mon 19-Feb-18 21:22:29

No

Lookatyourwatchnow Mon 19-Feb-18 21:22:37

Absolutely never

MayFayner Mon 19-Feb-18 21:22:57

No

cloudyweewee Mon 19-Feb-18 21:23:01

Of course not. Who in their right mind would even consider it? ₩

Bluedoglead Mon 19-Feb-18 21:23:26

No

Arapaima Mon 19-Feb-18 21:23:51

No. Maybe he is innocent, but probably he isn’t. Why take the risk?

fuzzywuzzy Mon 19-Feb-18 21:24:21

Afreshnewname, I don’t know any woman who’s lied about their ex beating them up.

Unfortunately know plenty of women who downplay having had the living daylights beaten it of them.

Katjolo Mon 19-Feb-18 21:25:06

No

TieGrr Mon 19-Feb-18 21:25:55

Absolutely not. I do know someone that was falsely accused by a vindictive ex but I also know someone who nearly murdered his ex-wife while they were separated.

shouldwestayorshouldwego Mon 19-Feb-18 21:25:59

Sounds as if whatever the truth they have too much going on in their life at the moment for a relationship. Tell them to concentrate on sorting out their current issues first before getting involved with someone else.

Backenette Mon 19-Feb-18 21:26:03

Pressed send too soon. There will be a story he spins you which will involve a crazy banshee like ex and any number of other cliches.

This is where you politely step away. Or you believe his story and in six months it’s you calling the police

BiologyMatters Mon 19-Feb-18 21:26:09

No. He's either abusive or there's a vindictive ex in the background. Nobodys worth that kind of aggro.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Mon 19-Feb-18 21:26:52

No of course not.

AnyFucker Mon 19-Feb-18 21:27:19

Only if I was fucking desperate

Fundays12 Mon 19-Feb-18 21:28:35

Yes my now husband I dated him and married him he has never hit me in the 10 years we have been together but his crazy ex who lied and had him put in jail for the weekend went on to do the same to another 3 men. All were arrested and released without charge and she eventually got a warning about her lies.

You need to be careful though as sometimes the man may have hit but on the other hand it could be some crazy woman with a grudge.

Blackbutler86 Mon 19-Feb-18 21:28:49

Nope sorry absolutely 100% no

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: