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Is this Insensitive? Ex starting new relationship before I've moved out.

(11 Posts)
GirlInASwirl Mon 19-Feb-18 04:15:11

My ex and I broke up just after new year. From my point of view I was struggling with his form of Autism and accompanying mental health conditions. Over Christmas there was increasing verbal abuse and I just got to the point where I just couldn't tolerate it anymore. I am still living in exes property because of financial circumstances, which I am trying to resolve rapidly. Today he told me that he is starting to see someone new. Am I in the wrong to think that insensitive when my son and I are still under the same roof.

ChickenMom Mon 19-Feb-18 04:19:26

I think it’s very insensitive!

ohforFucksSake900 Mon 19-Feb-18 05:00:35

It's a bit insensitive to tell you I think.
Surely he could've just seen her away from the house and not say anything until you left?
Unfortunately though there's little you can say to avoid coming across as crazy jealous ex. Start spending more time alone (or with your son only) and start seperating yourselves more if possible. Think of him like a housemate.
So different shelves int he fridge and freezer, have a food cupboard each, seperate finances, pay him a bit of money (even just £30) every so often and keep it basic and "professional" for want of a better phrase. Don't clean up after him either.
I feel for you. flowers

ChaChaChaCh4nges Mon 19-Feb-18 05:12:09

Assuming you’re not married to your ex, I think it’s quite generous that he’s let you live in his property for over a month since splitting, with no end in sight. The general advice on here to women separating from partners is to give him a month’s notice and after that he’s not their responsibility.

GirlInASwirl Mon 19-Feb-18 05:59:17

ChaCha a month sounds a short time -even in an ideal world. But it is a fact of life that some exes are forced to live under the same roof until finances are improved. They have to try to make the best of a bad situation. The fact that he is Autistic means that rules that apply to 'normal break ups' (if there is such a thing) don't necessarily apply. He needs more time to adjust to change. And the subject of his verbal/psychological abuse I need more support in moving forward. Every split is individual. I was just asking how people would feel about another relationship starting before they have moved out.

ChaChaChaCh4nges Mon 19-Feb-18 06:10:09

I think he’s entitled to move on and shouldn’t have to put his life on hold indefinitely.

ChaChaChaCh4nges Mon 19-Feb-18 06:10:41

And exactly the same goes for you.

GirlInASwirl Mon 19-Feb-18 06:13:57

I know that.I have no objection with him moving on. I just don't want to know all about it right now.

slothface Mon 19-Feb-18 06:14:00

You're not together any more, and by the sounds of it you dumped him. Yes it might be a bit insensitive if he brought the woman to the house while you were there and sat there snogging in front of you, but the simple fact that he's seeing someone/dating again I can't see a problem with. He's entitled to move on

ChaChaChaCh4nges Mon 19-Feb-18 07:44:23

I suppose it depends a bit on what he’s told you. If just the simple fact that he’s seeing someone then I think that he’s right to tell you - better that than you finding out by accident. If he’s giving you blow by blow technicolour details, or bringing her home, then I agree that’s insensitive.

ThisLittleKitty Mon 19-Feb-18 10:10:59

Can't see a problem. If it's his house then can't you go to the council and see if they would help? Is he the father to your son?

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