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I've said the words. Now what?

(2 Posts)
MissCommunication Sun 18-Feb-18 19:58:37

I am the poster with the speeding husband who can be very controlling and manipulative. It's been so hard for us both for years and he pretty much blames me.

We've had a terrible few weeks.and it has all come to a head. Today he has told me that I have caused his health problems, I'm lazy in the house, I contribute nothing to the marriage or relationship, I am ruining the children and need their love more than they need mine (I am a loosely-based attachment parent), that I am grabby for money (although he backtracked and apologised for saying that when I said how dare he because I am anything but money orientated) and that I am selfish and a liar and nasty and horrible.

He said so many things and I said that we are over this morning after a blue. He's really trying to act as though nothing has happened, saying all the things I have been desperate to hear and I feel sacked in again knowing that the cycle will repeat itself.

For the sake of the children we have had as normal a day as we can and he has told me he loves me and keeps offering gentle caring hugs and touches. I do love him and have told him that but this just cannot continue.

What now? We have two DC aged 5 and 1. I'm. A SAHM with not a penny to my name and I've been completely dependent on him for years. I know I've been sucked in by him and it's a typical situation. I have draft papers already with a SHL and I really only need to press the button. But I just can't. I was very clear about separating and I need to hold my head but I'm not even feeling sad or scared....just void and numb.

jayne1044 Sun 18-Feb-18 20:15:24

Hello, I don’t know your full situation and haven’t read your thread about the ‘speeding husband’ and I’m am no way qualified to give relationship advice. However I feel compelled to reply, I spent many years looking for someone to give me answers to what I should do I in my relationship I was very unhappy for lots of them. I tried everything but deep down only I had the answers I woke up one morning and realised I felt nothing absolutely nothing no anger, frustration love just nothing except some warped sense of duty that’s when I knew I was over. You may feel dependant but you’re not if necessary you can be completely independent.

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