Advanced search

I've said the words. Now what?

(2 Posts)
MissCommunication Sun 18-Feb-18 19:58:37

I am the poster with the speeding husband who can be very controlling and manipulative. It's been so hard for us both for years and he pretty much blames me.

We've had a terrible few weeks.and it has all come to a head. Today he has told me that I have caused his health problems, I'm lazy in the house, I contribute nothing to the marriage or relationship, I am ruining the children and need their love more than they need mine (I am a loosely-based attachment parent), that I am grabby for money (although he backtracked and apologised for saying that when I said how dare he because I am anything but money orientated) and that I am selfish and a liar and nasty and horrible.

He said so many things and I said that we are over this morning after a blue. He's really trying to act as though nothing has happened, saying all the things I have been desperate to hear and I feel sacked in again knowing that the cycle will repeat itself.

For the sake of the children we have had as normal a day as we can and he has told me he loves me and keeps offering gentle caring hugs and touches. I do love him and have told him that but this just cannot continue.

What now? We have two DC aged 5 and 1. I'm. A SAHM with not a penny to my name and I've been completely dependent on him for years. I know I've been sucked in by him and it's a typical situation. I have draft papers already with a SHL and I really only need to press the button. But I just can't. I was very clear about separating and I need to hold my head but I'm not even feeling sad or scared....just void and numb.

jayne1044 Sun 18-Feb-18 20:15:24

Hello, I don’t know your full situation and haven’t read your thread about the ‘speeding husband’ and I’m am no way qualified to give relationship advice. However I feel compelled to reply, I spent many years looking for someone to give me answers to what I should do I in my relationship I was very unhappy for lots of them. I tried everything but deep down only I had the answers I woke up one morning and realised I felt nothing absolutely nothing no anger, frustration love just nothing except some warped sense of duty that’s when I knew I was over. You may feel dependant but you’re not if necessary you can be completely independent.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: