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Cheating husband? Help with WhatsApp please!

(431 Posts)
betrayedorcrazy Sun 18-Feb-18 10:41:04

I recently downloaded WhatsApp to my phone to talk to a particular friend who is not on Facebook. I knew my husband had it so wasn't surprised when he popped up in my contacts. I mentioned it to him and he said he hadn't used it since messaging a friend a few months ago.
I saw the last seen thing when I sent my friend a message and, being nosy, clicked on my husbands. I was out at the time and it said last seen about 10 mins after I went out. This was about a week ago and he seems to go on it once a day when I'm not about. He has an iPhone and leaves all his apps open but always swipes this one away. He has 3 old chats on WhatsApp but when I looked in the data and storage bit there were 3 more numbers - 2 saying 2 messages and one saying 1 photo, he has deleted them since I told him I have the app.
I then looked in network usage, and the status media bytes received is showing MB rather than KB as everything else does. That's a lot right?
I googled WhatsApp status and see that you can post a status that lasts 24 hours. Now I'm wondering if that's why he only goes on it once a day, to look for a status update from someone. There were none in there this morning when I looked, but if I do find one and open it will he know?
He seems perfectly normal and I have no reason to suspect anything is wrong apart from him lying about not going on this app. I have no idea what I'm doing with WhatsApp so would appreciate any info people can offer.
Sorry for such a long post.

yetmorecrap Sun 18-Feb-18 11:08:36

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

yetmorecrap Sun 18-Feb-18 11:10:15

My husband lied about it too, that’s how I know this site

namechange879 Sun 18-Feb-18 11:23:03

Are you sure he's not checking on you? I read a true story once about how a couple were suspicious of one another's activity on what's app. Turns out they were spying on eachother - neither one of them were up to anything. Maybe he wants to look at how often you are active on it? Therefore his 'last seen' will always be quite recent.

I would get suspicious if he hides his 'last seen' you can do that, and there's no way of knowing when someone was last online. It will show if they are online though

Annabelle4 Sun 18-Feb-18 11:26:56

Is this all you're basing it on? It's a huge assumption to make.
Have you any other reason to be suspicious of him?

Fosterdog123 Sun 18-Feb-18 11:27:21

Have you literally no other reason at all to suspect he's up to anything?

Alfiemoon1 Sun 18-Feb-18 11:27:24

Yeah my dh has removed his last seen on WhatsApp so I got WhatsApp detector lol

Itssosunny Sun 18-Feb-18 11:31:20

If you remove last seen you wouldn't be able to see other people's last seen either unless you download the detector.

betrayedorcrazy Sun 18-Feb-18 11:48:29

Thank you, I will have a look at that.
I don't think he's checking up on me as it is literally once a day he is on it.
He has the notifications turned off too.
Does anyone know if you get a notification when someone posts one of these updates? If so, I may wait until I know we are together for a few hours and set his WhatsApp notification to a big hooter or something.

namechange879 Sun 18-Feb-18 12:01:08

If it's just once a day, I wouldn't really worry tbh. I easily click on what's app by accident. Or sometimes I just go on it to look at a photo someone's sent me or...loads of different reasons. Sometimes I don't even mean to go on it, I press the wrong icon on my phone. It would still say I've been online even when I haven't actually sent anyone a message.

But if there's something niggling you then I agree you need to get to the bottom of it, all I'm saying is it could be a lot worse

governess Sun 18-Feb-18 12:13:09

I was using whatsapp without realising it - as I was apparently calling people and my phone was doing a whatsapp call rather than a 'normal' call. I think it's to do with your contacts - and sometimes when I would look for a contact I would then press call - and it would use whatsapp.

Why it did this - I dont know - I only found out when someone said - why are you calling me on whatsapp.

WhiteWalkersWife Sun 18-Feb-18 12:48:47

Whatsapp last seen can be useful if someone isnt responding to texts or calls. It can tell you that someones been online so if theyve been online they have used the phone and seen your messages.

Theres something wrong if hes lying and you were suspicious enough already to check if he was...

WhiteWalkersWife Sun 18-Feb-18 12:49:53

governess it asks you that when it installs. You probably accidentally clicked default to watsapp.

userxx Sun 18-Feb-18 13:18:48

Is there anything else going on with your husband to make you suspect he is cheating apart from him opening WhatsApp once a day...... see how crazy that sounds.

TheEmmaDilemma Sun 18-Feb-18 14:48:37

I don't see anything crazy if you read the OP. He's likely lying about using it given the info she already has!

userxx Sun 18-Feb-18 16:10:28

Yep, I did read it. Still can't see how someone opening the app once a day equates to being unfaithful. He could be having a nosy seeing who is online, doesn't mean he's messaging anyone.

betrayedorcrazy Sun 18-Feb-18 17:18:47

I did think I may be making something out of nothing but it's a real gut feeling. I have been with him all day and only popped out for 2 minutes just now to put some stuff in the dryer in the garage. Came back and he's been on it. He was scrolling through a football website when I came back in.
I noticed something odd on his iPhone this morning. The app 'notes' that comes as standard on the iPhone is now in a folder on its own. The folder is called 'social'. I thought he may be trying to hide an app so googled how to do it so maybe I could see how to find it. It says to drag the app you want to hide over another one. I did this and it put it in a folder but you could see both apps. I then read on and it said drag 9 more apps in. He hasn't got a folder with 9 apps so I tried to drag them back out. The health app I had put in cane back out, but the 'notes' one wouldn't because it's iPhone standard I guess. My folder was named 'health' by the phone. So this looks very much like he tried hiding a social media app and then couldn't undo it.
I just don't get what he's looking at once a day on there. Can you delete someone else's status update when you've viewed it. I wish I knew more about WhatsApp!

Ghostlyfeet Sun 18-Feb-18 17:26:26

I did a WhatsApp update recently and I don’t even see peoples statuses anymore. I’m not sure even when I could see them my friends ever used them. Are you sure he’s not just going on there once a day to check if he has any messages? I do this as I don’t have the notifications on due to group messages occasionally going crazy when I’m at work so I just check in every couple of hours to see if I have messages

DavidBowiesNumber1 Sun 18-Feb-18 17:35:36

namechange879 how do you hide your "last seen" please?

Chippyway Sun 18-Feb-18 17:39:36

Whatsapp is an app to chat to contacts, as you know.

I use it. My partner uses it. Never in a million years would I assume somebody’s cheating or up to no good simply because they use WhatsApp confused

You MUST have other reasons to be suspicious because if not, you’re highly paranoid and it’s not healthy. I don’t know anyone who has an iPhone but doesn’t use WhatsApp.

Also, it’s not healthy to be constantly checking when somebody was last online etc. To me that’s just weird confused

userxx Sun 18-Feb-18 17:39:46

Go into settings, privacy, last seen, change to nobody. You can still be seen when you're online but once you close the app you're invisible.

userxx Sun 18-Feb-18 17:41:25

Chippyway - I agree, it can't just be WhatsApp being opened. That would be crazy and hugely paranoid.

DavidBowiesNumber1 Sun 18-Feb-18 17:44:01

Thanks userxx, I've just changed mine smile

betrayedorcrazy Sun 18-Feb-18 17:51:07

I'm not usually a paranoid person at all. I just noticed the last seen thing and clicked on his and my 2 daughters to be nosy. When I said to him I'd put it on, I said 'oh you have it don't you' he replied 'yeah I haven't been on there in months since so and so messaged about the football' - well that's not true.
And the fact he only checks it when I'm not there, and swipes the app clear. Which he doesn't do with any others.
Now this weird folder thing on the iPhone.
I hope I am being a nutcase but something doesn't feel right.

TheHandmaidsTail Sun 18-Feb-18 17:56:22

You can download it onto a laptop, not sure who knows you've done that though as DH did it for me.

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