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How to stop estranged relatives contacting us?

(37 Posts)
PasstheStarmix Sat 17-Feb-18 15:53:25

Me and dh have abusive estranged relatives. They send weird unwanted cards and we’re scared they will up at our house. We have a small child and need to protect his welfare. What’s the best course of action?

PositiveVibes18 Sat 17-Feb-18 15:59:25

Don't open the door to anyone you're not expecting. Phone the police if they are really that bad and turn up. Get a restraining order.

UserThenLotsOfNumbers Sat 17-Feb-18 16:01:59

Agree with PP suggestion. Have you also considered marking the cards "return to sender not known at this address" to make them think you've moved?

PasstheStarmix Sat 17-Feb-18 16:04:19

If we mark them not at this address they’ll come over to check and look for our car and pear in the windows etc.

PasstheStarmix Sat 17-Feb-18 16:04:33


PasstheStarmix Sat 17-Feb-18 16:05:12

Dh is worried as for instance if we’ve been out somewhere they can turn up and wait for us to come home and make a scene.

UserThenLotsOfNumbers Sat 17-Feb-18 16:06:16

Blimey. Ok so take it they live near by.
I would speak to the police about this.
Have they tried to get into your home?

PasstheStarmix Sat 17-Feb-18 16:06:21

I don’t know how easy injunctions/restraining ordered are to get against relatives for emotional psychological childhood abuse? I’ve heard they’re a nightmare and unless you’re beaten black and blue you don’t stand a chance.

OutyMcOutface Sat 17-Feb-18 16:06:22

Can you change your car? That way you can mark as return to sender and keep the front curtains closed so that they see the new car and think that you have moved.

PasstheStarmix Sat 17-Feb-18 16:06:30

orders *

PasstheStarmix Sat 17-Feb-18 16:06:55

We can’t change our car for another two years unfortunately

PasstheStarmix Sat 17-Feb-18 16:07:39

We can’t keep curtains closed forever as wouldn’t know when they were likely to spring up.

PasstheStarmix Sat 17-Feb-18 16:09:30

UserThenLotsOfNumbers They don’t live around the corner but near enough to drive over and pass this way when and if they need to. We also go to some of the same places they do to and dh is worried about bumping into them.

PasstheStarmix Sat 17-Feb-18 16:10:07

we avoid most of the place they go but at same time we have to live our lives too.

PasstheStarmix Sat 17-Feb-18 16:10:17


UserThenLotsOfNumbers Sat 17-Feb-18 16:10:21

If you haven't already, then start compiling evidence.
Get a camera outside your house.
Definitely talk to the police and get advice.
Hard to say without more details, but this might come under stalking/harassment.

PasstheStarmix Sat 17-Feb-18 16:11:12

They wouldn’t try and break in, they’re not physical. They’re emotionally abusive and very manipulative.

UserThenLotsOfNumbers Sat 17-Feb-18 16:12:41

What sort of stuff do they do?

PasstheStarmix Sat 17-Feb-18 16:13:21

Thanks, I guess we could call 111 and see what they say. dh wrote them a letter to tell them why they’re estranged and telling them no contact is wanted. This angered them and now we’re scared they’re going to come over and contact us

PasstheStarmix Sat 17-Feb-18 16:14:58

UserThenLotsOfNumbers They won’t accept that they’re estranged and dh doesn’t want anything to do with them over childhood abuse. They get angry and force unpleasant communication on us. We have a young child an cannot have they affecting him.

PasstheStarmix Sat 17-Feb-18 16:15:57


PasstheStarmix Sat 17-Feb-18 16:17:03

They are very unpleasant people who play the victims and continue to berate and emotionally abuse/scold my poor husband even as an adult.

PasstheStarmix Sat 17-Feb-18 16:18:04

I just want to get something put in place so they can’t just turn up and can’t can’t Mail is or our son cards or letters.

PasstheStarmix Sat 17-Feb-18 16:18:12


UserThenLotsOfNumbers Sat 17-Feb-18 16:19:27

I'm very sorry to hear that, that must be very difficult for you all.
Are they threatening you? If they are then this gives more weight to a restraining order.
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