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Stop me from being a needy freak!

(45 Posts)
MozzchopsThirty Mon 22-Jan-18 09:07:25

Just need a MN slap round the face!

Been seeing a guy for a couple of weeks, get on really well, sex is great.
We were together Friday night and have arranged to see each other Wednesday when we are next child free.

He's messaged a few times a day over the weekend. Nothing last night then this morning he text and said so sorry about last night, I wasn't feeling great and went to bed.

So due to my own issues I'm now totally overthinking it, has he gone off me, is he sleeping with someone else, did I do something wrong? 🙄

I need to woman up and just play it cool

Slap required grin

Trills Mon 22-Jan-18 09:23:09

What is he apologising for?

Trills Mon 22-Jan-18 09:24:40

If he's apologising for not texting you for half a day I'd [personally think that was a bit odd, but it shows that you both have high expectations of how much you'll text each other, so maybe you are well suited.

pudding21 Mon 22-Jan-18 09:31:06

Mozzchops: I think he was being sweet to say sorry because he didn't text. If hes ill, or sleepy or just didnt feel like replying, thats ok.

She how it goes over the next few days, and leave it to him to contact you.

MozzchopsThirty Mon 22-Jan-18 09:32:59

Yeah because we'd normally have a quick chat on the phone or a flirty text or two

I can feel my anxiety building and it's turning me into a loon

UserSnoozer Mon 22-Jan-18 09:47:04

He was ill. Went to sleep. Don't overthink yet. If he'd gone off he wouldn't have even apologised

Myheartbelongsto Mon 22-Jan-18 10:07:49

Calm down or you'll scare him off.

MozzchopsThirty Mon 22-Jan-18 10:10:37

I know I know hence me posting here grin

Chocolate123 Mon 22-Jan-18 12:13:16

You are overthinking it next date is planned. You could ruin something good for overanalysing. Chill and enjoy

Notasperfectasallothermners Mon 22-Jan-18 12:16:33

You need these op. Always available to give yourself a slap...

MozzchopsThirty Mon 22-Jan-18 13:25:58

gringringrin I love those

He has messaged to say hi and ask how my day was but my anxiety levels are still up up up 🙄

The last guy I dated was a total love bomber and then just ditched me randomly after a perfectly normal day
It's knocked my confidence massively

MinnieMul Mon 22-Jan-18 14:41:58

@Mozzychops I am exactly the same at the moment, I was love bombed previously and I seem to be overthinking everything this time around, even though everyone is telling me there is nothing wrong. Just keep calm and relax- everything will be fine smile .

MozzchopsThirty Mon 22-Jan-18 15:24:33

Thank you Minnie it's has really affected me, really never used to overthink things to this extent.
I think just because I didn't see it coming now I'm looking for signs that the same thing will happen

meowimacat Mon 22-Jan-18 16:17:20

Pace yourself, and maybe don't put all your eggs in one basket. Easier said than done when you are into one person, but you've only been seeing each other a couple of weeks. Remember back to a month ago when you maybe didn't even know this guy...and were you always concerned about whether he text you or not? No.

cattycat83 Mon 22-Jan-18 16:26:09

You sound like me op..I sympathise x

TashieWoo Mon 22-Jan-18 19:47:52

Another one who could be writing this here. I haven’t been in a relationship for about 18 months after an awful break up with a love bomber who ended up cheating on me. After a long time of being single and a few dates that didn’t really go anywhere I have reconnected with someone I’ve known for years and dated briefly about 7-8 years ago. We’ve always been friends, not massively close friends but always cared for each other I guess.

It’s very early days (3 dates over 3 weeks and haven’t slept with him yet) but all seems to be going well so far, I can’t help worrying though! I do get really anxious and don’t have much confidence in myself sometimes, even though he makes me feel amazing. Will just see how it goes I guess!

Chocolate123 Mon 22-Jan-18 19:54:33

Think bad breakups make us overthink when we meet a nice guy. I was like this at the start of my relationship as it seemed too good to be true. I analysed the texts and drove myself nuts. Then I realised that I would end up destroying something with great potential. I still can do it occasionally but now I'm just relaxing and really enjoying being in a great relationship.

Lifeisabeach09 Mon 22-Jan-18 19:55:17

If he is sleeping with someone else, is it really a big deal? I assume you both are not exclusive as yet. It's only been a couple of weeks. I'd say don't put all your eggs in one basket (as PP have said) and keep things chill.
Not sure if getting too keen, too fast, is a good idea.

lanbro Mon 22-Jan-18 20:00:16

Haha I'm in the same boat! Keep having to remind myself there's no rush, whatever happens happens, yada yada!

OrangeCrush19 Mon 22-Jan-18 20:25:55

If a guy I’d been seeing for a couple of weeks texted to apologise for falling asleep, I’d think he was way too needy / OTT for me!

Agree with PP - I think he’s into you, understands your insecurities and probably shares them. Whether that’s a good thing or not is up to you smile

userxx Mon 22-Jan-18 22:08:36

Stop stressing, live in the moment and just enjoy it. Really need to start listening to my own advice 😉

Hahbah6 Mon 22-Jan-18 22:56:05

Anxiety is a horrible feeling. I suffer dreadfully. Feel like my chest is going to explode at any time. Mess help a bit but my whole life is ruined by it. You have my sympathy

Trills Mon 22-Jan-18 23:21:17

I agree OrangeCrush - I felt that apologising for not texting for half a day was a bit much. But clearly they are both a bit much for us, so maybe they'll make a good pair!

MozzchopsThirty Tue 23-Jan-18 09:46:20

Tashiewoo I think the lovebombing has really affected me.
I've been in some really shitty abusive relationships but that really confused and upset me!
I think I may consider seeing my counsellor haven't been for a year but feel it might be necessary this time

BatFaceGal Tue 23-Jan-18 10:04:40

This is all madness. How OTT can you get? I’d be slowly backing away from this level of intensity if I was him so you do need to maybe find a hobby or distraction so he doesn’t pick up on your neediness. Try and aggressively it elsewhere, it’s a very off putting quality

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