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Can you love someone too much?

11 replies

Gettingonwithit72 · 16/01/2018 17:40

Just as the title says.. Can you love someone too much it will just cause heartache?
Your heart is already bursting and you try so hard but is the feeling too much? I don't know what I'm trying to describe really other than feeling i love my partner too much and it's not healthy for me!

OP posts:

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MikeUniformMike · 16/01/2018 17:47

it doesn't sound healthy

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MyBrilliantDisguise · 16/01/2018 17:48

It's not healthy if you always put him ahead of yourself. It's not healthy if he doesn't respect you and treat you well. It's not healthy if you don't also see other people.

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IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 16/01/2018 17:53

I think it is a mistake to make one person your 'everything', such that you lose sight of who you are, without them and lose all connection with friends/family.

Sadly, you can never rely on a man to not ever hurt or betray you - if you make someone your whole world, it leaves you up shit creek if it goes wrong.

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HopeClearwater · 16/01/2018 17:54

Look up ‘co-dependence’.

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Gettingonwithit72 · 16/01/2018 18:11

I think that's the problem I have. I have made him my world and I'm only starting to realise how lonely I would be without him.

I have friends and family, but it would be like I was using them if he did hurt me. That's how I would feel anyway, they wouldn't.

He respects me, treats me dearly but I'm not his world. If anything happened he could still carry on his daily life. Maybe that's what is worrying me.

I have to point out this is the first time I've felt like this but it's quite a strange feeling.

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user1493413286 · 16/01/2018 18:15

I would be devastated if I split up with my DH and as we live together my social life would massively change.....but I don’t put his happiness before my own general life happiness and I would manage without him.

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SandyY2K · 16/01/2018 20:08

Never make another person the be all and end all of your life.

Keep a social life with others and stay close to family.

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Gettingonwithit72 · 18/01/2018 13:53

Is there a way to change this feeling? I don't want to withdraw myself or see him any less. How strange!!

I don't feel its right for me to start randomly picking up friends and family since I only really chat over the phone/text maybe once or twice a week.

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IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 18/01/2018 18:53

I think you have to be vigilant about not always prioritising his wants/needs above your own. Remember that you are a whole person, in your own right and not just half of a couple. If there are things which interest you and not your dh, don't be afraid to persue those interests. You don't want to never talk to other people. Make friends outside of your relationship.
You want to make it so that if you were ever alone, you wouldn't be without the means to rebuild a life.
It doesn't mean you will love your dh less, only that you remember that you are just as important.

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greenberet · 18/01/2018 19:11

I think you love as you love - not too much just you - but as others have said if you are choosing to please him over yourself you will end up resenting this if you do not feel you are getting what you need back. It should be give and take - fluctuating dependant on you both - if you are always giving and he takes this is not healthy.

How do you feel about friends/ family - you can be too dependant on these too - maybe you need some new interests - if he encourages you and does not feel threatened by this that's a good sign - anything else not so good