Hi. I've been with my girlfriend for just over 9 months. I love her very much and everything is mostly very good. It's been a stressful year and sometimes we argue and to be honest, we both blow it out of proportion.
Anyway, this week, out of the blue, I get a completely random message from one of the mum's at my children's school.
Although I felt it was weird, I didn't want to cause any awkwardness so was what I thought was friendly in response. It started at night when my gf was with me. I didn't mention it at the time as I wasn't sure what to think. The 2nd day when my gf came around, I pointed out to this woman that I was with my gf. I also told me gf about the messages at this time, but didn't show her them..
The other woman then tried to "drunk call" me twice that night which lead to an argument between my girlfriend and I. She thinks I lead the woman on. While I thought the messages were odd, I don't think I lead her on really, and made it clear I had a gf, which didn't stop her.
The messages are below (sorry I couldn't attach them any other way). Names have been changed and emojis don't appear properly, but other than that, this is the entire conversation over both days.
My gf has actually left me over this. Is that a fair reaction? Be brutally honest...
15/12/2017, 22:19 - Other Person: Hi
15/12/2017, 22:20 - Other Person: Sorry! wrong message.
15/12/2017, 22:21 - Me: Haha. I do that all the time...
15/12/2017, 22:21 - Other Person: I should say wrong person! Sorry
15/12/2017, 22:24 - Other Person: Sorry I didnt mean to message you. How are yoi doing anyway?
15/12/2017, 22:26 - Me: All good ta
15/12/2017, 22:26 - Me: Happy that it's nearly the hols
15/12/2017, 22:26 - Me: You guys ok?
15/12/2017, 22:30 - Other Person: Yeah we are too! what are your plans for the holidays?
15/12/2017, 22:47 - Other Person: I am so sorry!! It was a druken message! Hope we are ok?
15/12/2017, 23:26 - Me: Drunken messages are the best types
15/12/2017, 23:26 - Me: I'm rather sober
15/12/2017, 23:27 - Me: So off to bed now.
16/12/2017, 18:39 - Me: Hey. You seemed quite worried yesterday. Relax. We all send the odd message in the wrong chat after a few lambrinis
16/12/2017, 18:41 - Other Person: Haha Yes we do! But again very sorry about that
16/12/2017, 18:42 - Me: It's really not a problem
16/12/2017, 18:46 - Other Person: Still I think I should stay away from phones when drunk
16/12/2017, 18:46 - Me: Shouldn't we all
16/12/2017, 18:48 - Other Person: True!
16/12/2017, 18:48 - Me: Kids excited for Christmas?
16/12/2017, 18:51 - Other Person: Yes they are! Not sure who is most excited though, just finished most of the wrapping so can relax a bit now. Yours?
16/12/2017, 18:51 - Me: I'm a bloke. I've hardly done any shopping. Yeah, the kids are with Mum for Christmas day this year. I'll get them when they break up for a couple of days, and then on 27th for a week.
16/12/2017, 18:52 - Me: so late Christmas for me this year
16/12/2017, 18:55 - Other Person: You should definitely start soon then.Ahhh that will be nice though, a week with them. I have the kids Christmas day, then they will be with their dad for 2 days on the 26th, I dont think I could handle them being away any longer.
16/12/2017, 18:56 - Other Person: I have to say, (son) was amazing in the school play. So good!
16/12/2017, 18:57 - Me: He was absolutely hilarios
16/12/2017, 18:57 - Me: hilarious
16/12/2017, 18:57 - Me: I have no idea what the eyes/silly faces were about
16/12/2017, 18:58 - Me: He's in his own little world most of the time. It seems like a nice world though so it's all good
16/12/2017, 19:00 - Other Person: he's a lovely kid! He really comes out of himself in all the school plays. A natural performer I think
16/12/2017, 19:00 - Me: He's a charmer
16/12/2017, 19:00 - Me: Always surrounded by the girls
16/12/2017, 19:02 - Me: He and (daughter) are so different. But she's had a much harder time over the last couple of years since Mum and I split.
16/12/2017, 19:03 - Other Person: He really is, (daughter) thinks he's great. I think they are a lot alike, come across all shy and sweet, but absolute loonies
16/12/2017, 19:04 - Other Person: Awww its always hard for kids when parents split, I only realised that you weren't together a few days ago, I always thought you were
16/12/2017, 19:05 - Me: ?
16/12/2017, 19:05 - Me: Really?
16/12/2017, 19:05 - Me: I thought is was quite a public split
16/12/2017, 19:07 - Other Person: No I had no idea. You were together at the start when they started reception?
16/12/2017, 19:08 - Me: No. I just thought that
16/12/2017, 19:08 - Me: Lots of the parents have kids in (daughter’s) year and (son’s) year
16/12/2017, 19:09 - Me: Well, it's fair to say it was a random couple of years or so
16/12/2017, 19:09 - Me: I'm always pleasantly surprised when I learn some people haven't heard a load of random shit about me though.
16/12/2017, 19:10 - Me: We separated in 2015
16/12/2017, 19:10 - Other Person: Oh ok, I'm completely oblivious to what the mums and dads are up to, prefer it that way! Ahhh really, now I'm interested
16/12/2017, 19:10 - Me: Haha
16/12/2017, 19:10 - Me: trust me
16/12/2017, 19:10 - Me: it's a story
16/12/2017, 19:11 - Me: but I'm very biased
16/12/2017, 19:11 - Me: so try not to tell it
16/12/2017, 19:11 - Me: If I stick to the absolute, non-deniable facts...
16/12/2017, 19:11 - Other Person: Ok enough said, I wont ask!
16/12/2017, 19:11 - Me: Nah, it doesn't bother me, I just don't want to throw mud at the children's mother
16/12/2017, 19:12 - Me: it's been a soap opera.
16/12/2017, 19:12 - Me: If I stick to absolute facts and nothing that can be debatable...
16/12/2017, 19:15 - Me: Aug 2015 separated. Nov 2015 I was arrested for "stalking". Aug 2016 found unanimously not guilty of stalking in crown court. Police didn't provide phone records I'd requested until the 2nd day of hearing (similar to what is in the news at the moment with that guy who was accused of rape). Sep 2016 started family court proceedings against Mum because I hardly saw the kids during the holidays. Feb 2017 had op to remove bowel cancer. April 2017, final family court hearing - got shared care and now have them 5 nights every 2 weeks during term time and half of all holidays.
16/12/2017, 19:15 - Me: I should write a book 😊
16/12/2017, 19:15 - Me: 😊
16/12/2017, 19:18 - Other Person: Oh wow! I'm really sorry to hear that and I thought me and their dad had an awkward relationship! 😕 You probably should 😉 xx
16/12/2017, 19:18 - Me: Haha
16/12/2017, 19:18 - Me: it's ok
16/12/2017, 19:19 - Me: Probably just a misunderstanding between Mum and I 🙂
16/12/2017, 19:19 - Me: I don't hold a grudge and I'm not bitter. As long as the kids are happy (which they are a lot since the family court) then it's all good.
16/12/2017, 19:19 - Me: I've learned a lot.
16/12/2017, 19:19 - Me: And life is awesome now
16/12/2017, 19:20 - Other Person: Well thats it, the kids are above anything else the most important thing ☺
16/12/2017, 19:20 - Me: They really are
16/12/2017, 19:21 - Me: On which note, I'm off to wrap the small amount of their presents I actually do have
16/12/2017, 19:21 - Me: Enjoy Saturday. Try not to drink too much and randomly message people 😉
16/12/2017, 19:22 - Other Person: 😊 Ok have a good evening and a great Christmas. Will see you at school! 😂 I'll try not to 😜
16/12/2017, 20:19 - Other Person: Hows that wrapping going? I am bored shitless, no kids and way to much lambrini
16/12/2017, 20:20 - Other Person: That sounded wrong on so many levels! Didnt mean anything by that lol
16/12/2017, 20:22 - Me: Haven't wrapped anything and girlfriend has as arrived now. Guess it will wait until tomorrow.
16/12/2017, 20:25 - Other Person: Ahhh ok fab! Have a great evening ☺
16/12/2017, 20:33 - Me: Aye. You too. Enjoy the rest of the weekend.
16/12/2017, 20:42 - Other Person: xx
16/12/2017, 22:05 - Other Person: Do you and your girlfriend?
16/12/2017, 22:07 - Other Person: Ekkk so sorry! I meant 'you and your girlfriend' lol. Im drubk texting
16/12/2017, 22:13 - Other Person: Missed voice call
16/12/2017, 22:14 - Other Person: drunk phoning
16/12/2017, 22:50 - Other Person: Missed voice call
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Opinions gratefully received...
confuzzledman · 17/12/2017 10:27
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.