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Relationship with sister after having children

(5 Posts)
Chicci1 Sun 17-Dec-17 07:14:15

I seem to have lost my sister and I'm so sad about it. My sister is my only sibling and is five years younger than me. Up until I had my first child three years ago we were incredibly close. We were best friends and I would have sworn that we would always be the best of friends. Since announcing my pregnancy with my second child, and having that child two months ago, our relationship has broken down, having been deteriorating since announcing my first pregnancy. My sister is single and childless and very career focused. She has lost friendships over the past few years largely because she doesn't seem to put any effort into maintaining friendships. She doesn't seem to have any interest in my children. For example even sending pictures of her new nephew straight after he was born elicited absolutely no response. When we talk, it is generally about her work. She doesn't seem to have any empathy. Since announcing my pregnancy and the birth of my son, she has not once asked me how I am. Her only reference to the pregnancy was to tell me how enormous I looked every time I saw her. Likewise since having my son, she has not once asked how we are. I made a passing comment earlier this week about being tired and she jumped down my throat saying that I've nothing to be tired about.

I am conscious about not talking about children too much with her and I make an effort to try and do things with her that have nothing to do with having children. For example she had a significant birthday earlier this year and I brought her on a four day trip of a lifetime - just the two of us. I had put a year of planning into it and really thought it would be the trip that would make us closer again but it didn't. We had a perfectly nice time but it was back to square one as soon as we returned. She forgot my birthday!
I don't know whether my sister is jealous of my family life or if she just doesn't like the person I've become since becoming a mothe or if she has just changed. We don't seem to have anything in common anymore. It is at the point now where I'm getting upset everyday about it and sick of sending unanswered texts etc. Maybe i should just accept that our relationship has changed for the worse and that's that.

Silverthorn Sun 17-Dec-17 07:17:59

Oh bless. It does sound very one sided. Can you invite her for a coffee and simply ask her? I too would be upset. Has she always been this way?

hopingandprayingthistime Sun 17-Dec-17 07:23:16

Oh OP this sounds truly shit. Could it be that your sister is secretly struggling with being single / childless and written off as a career woman and doesn’t know how to talk to you about it so is shutting down?

raisinsarenottheonlyfruit Sun 17-Dec-17 07:29:39

I was also thinking perhaps she wishes she had a partner and kids? Maybe It's jealousy?

Not saying that because I think all women must want DC! But because It's a strange way to behave?

I wouldn't mention that in case It's way off though! But I would want yo say something before giving up on the relationship.

I would ask her face to face what the issue is and ecplain you miss her friendship. If you're considering giving up on the relationship anyway what have you got to lose?

outofmydepth45 Sun 17-Dec-17 07:33:15

I'd just leave her to it, she will come back in her own time

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