Separation is frying my brain

[colouringinagain]

Separated from dh in Jan following a horrendous Bipolar II manic episode and many years of his poor mental health inc suicide attempt. Married 20 years in Christian marriage, so hard to end. He messaged me today to say that he's signing Christmas cards from all four of us (Him, me 2 dcs). My brain is fucked. I am struggling with the separation but can't see us getting together again. Stupid Christmas card thing has completely knocked me sideways. Lost.

[Poshindevon]

Why is a Christian marriage so hard to end? Its no different to any other marriage.
I also dont understand the fuss about Christmas cards being from the family after all you are only seperated.
After 20 years with a partner good or bad its a long time but as you say you cant see you getting together again. Then you have to make that decision to take control, divorce and move on with your life.

[namechange2222]

For the first year after my H and I separated we also sent cards from us all. ( Me and H and DC) The second Christmas I wrote cards from me, DC and then wrote his name almost as an after thought but not as part of the me and him thing. After that it just felt more normal to write from me and DC only. Things evolve after separation. Just go with it this year, it's very early days

[onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad]

Post-separation I think this is to be expected. I remember one year of writing some cards from me, exH and the kids to some recipients who didn't know about the break up and other cards from just me and the kids to friends who did know.
It's an evolving process.

[colouringinagain]

Thanks namechange and onemore that's really helpful. I think I may well end up doing a mixture depending on the recipient...

Firsts are hard...