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Am I entitled to be upset over this?

(26 Posts)
xmasstress Sat 16-Dec-17 09:37:59

So last night my hushed was on a night shift ( he is allowed to sleep at night with this job so it's not due to no sleep) he was off with em didn't text me goodnight like he usually does but I just bought it was me. This morning he doesn't text me morning like usual and the first thing he text me was 'I'm going to help my cousin with something after work' he finishes 10 this morning. And I ask him why he only telling me now and why that's the first thing he text didn't even ask how I am. He then started to refer to me as a bitch and being nasty so I ask him what have I done ? He said nothing but I know fore a fact he has a problem with me but won't tell me. He's done this a number of times, he had a problem but Doesn't talk about it he just tortures me by having me guessing. He will give me silent treatment, give me attitude on his way to show he's angry but won't say why.. I'm in for such a crap day

kateclarke Sat 16-Dec-17 09:43:09

I think you both sound like hard work.

xmasstress Sat 16-Dec-17 09:47:35

@kateclarke how was that even remotely helpful

Ruddygreattiger2016 Sat 16-Dec-17 09:48:24

Er yes you are 'allowed' to feel upset with this.confused
His behaviour is not normal, or what loving partners do.

Maybe text him saying that is you are such a nasty bitch then he can grow up and fuck off. Then go out and have a fab day ignoring the inevitable shitty messages he will send to get you to stfu.

But I am guessing you wont
flowers

LIZS Sat 16-Dec-17 09:49:14

So he abuses and manipulates you , while you aren't aware of having upset him?

SanitaFannyWelly Sat 16-Dec-17 09:49:50

He sounds like a bullying twat and emotionally abusive. Do you not think you deserve better? Bin him off.

Whocansay Sat 16-Dec-17 10:40:01

Get on with your day. Don't contact him. Arrange to do stuff with other people. If you aren't chasing him it will take the wind out of his sails.

Do not ask him again what you have done. He's said 'nothing', so take it at face value.

He sounds like a passive aggressive knob. Is he usually like this?

xmasstress Sat 16-Dec-17 10:48:40

Yes he's always like this. He takes his bad mood out on me. He lies about stuff and then blame me the fact he lies. Every-time something isn't going right in his life or the way he wants he Blames me for it saying he doesn't have a wife that's 'strong enough' and then behaves like this. He will be a twat all day and he knows how to manipulate me so he will use my weaknesses to get at me today. I can't leave the house because I have no money to go anywhere and I don't drive.

fantasmasgoria1 Sat 16-Dec-17 10:55:46

You don’t sound like hard work but he certainly does. You would be better off without him. He is abusive and nasty if you can get away from him somehow you should.

Karigan1 Sat 16-Dec-17 10:58:32

Any relationship where your partner calls you a bitch in any way but joking (got to say that as I called my SO a bastard whilst he was putting snow down my neck) is not a healthy one.

Sit down and think of you really want to spend the next 40/50 years with someone who treats you like that.

Regularsizedrudy Sat 16-Dec-17 10:59:11

What are you getting out of this relationship? Tell him to fuck off

Regularsizedrudy Sat 16-Dec-17 11:00:09

Why don't you have any money?

SpartonDregs Sat 16-Dec-17 11:01:03

Why would you want this person to text you in the first place? I'd be happy he was out the house and enjoying the moments until he got home.

Actually I wouldn't, i'd have left long ago.

Belleoftheball8 Sat 16-Dec-17 11:01:17

I have to agree with the poster who said your hard work sorry although he shouldn’t call you a bitch

Violletta Sat 16-Dec-17 11:02:30

why are you with him?
a relationship is meant to have good points as well, are you getting any good points?

Angelf1sh Sat 16-Dec-17 11:09:23

Calling you a nasty bitch was totally out of order at a complete overreaction to what you said. You have every right to be upset by this. On the other hand, your response to not getting a text last night or this morning asking you how you were also feels like an overreaction and I can see how he might be fed up of high maintenance behaviour.

If he’s upset you, you should talk it through rather than just telling each other to fuck off, but be open to the possibility that you might have unreasonable expectations of your partner and you could both be in the wrong.

Viviennemary Sat 16-Dec-17 11:16:24

It's not great getting those nasty texts. But you do sound hard work with your getting upset because you're not wished good-morning on a text and asked how you are. Just sounds like you're really not suited to each other. I agree he sounds fed up of your high maintenance behaviour. He's at work leave him alone.

Branleuse Sat 16-Dec-17 11:23:19

he sounds really annoying. How the hell are you supposed to sort out problems if he just does passive aggresive stonewalling. How very tiring

YellowMakesMeSmile Sat 16-Dec-17 11:40:06

You both sound as bad as each other. Teens text like that not adults. Expecting numerous texts is extremely childish and needy likewise he should have ignored and not name called. You sound very unsuitable for each other.

xmasstress Sat 16-Dec-17 11:43:14

I'm not needy I don't expect a text, it's the Fact he didn't even say hi just telling me he won't be homing home on time

Joysmum Sat 16-Dec-17 11:50:25

All he did was not txt good morning. Did you txt him good morning?

Whilst other posters see your OP as him with the problem, given you reaction to him not saying good morning and helping his cousin it’s entirely possible given your limited OP that he’s on eggshells because of your reactions.

There’s not enough in the OP to say either way. For me though, I’m in a good relationship and neither dh or I would be bothered by not getting a good morning and we’d both see the need to help someone else straight after a night shift as being because that person was in need and not just to piss us off.

xmasstress Sat 16-Dec-17 11:53:44

@Joysmum
Like I said I find it disrespectful to not even say hi to someone and then just tell me he's going dropping money off for his cousin ( he keeps his money in my DHs account for the time being until he gets a bank sorted) I actually don't have w problem with him doing that of course it's the fact he thinks I'm ok with being disrespected. He said he could have told me last night but 'forget' yes you have a good relationship I don't. He usually 'forgets' to tell me about anything

Codlet Sat 16-Dec-17 11:55:02

It doesn’t sound like you like each other very much.

Joysmum Sat 16-Dec-17 18:17:39

Mine forgets to tell me things too but he forgets, doesn’t do it on purpose.

As others have said, you don’t sound like you like and respect him so you’re flogging a dead horse if something so minor is causing you so much angst.

TheNaze73 Sat 16-Dec-17 20:50:20

I agree with Joysmum

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