I met a guy a couple of months ago. We dated for a short while, then agreed it should just be fun for the both of us. However, he started to act romantic and loved up. When I called him up on it, and told him how much I liked him, he said he wasn't looking for anything serious - which I accepted and we tried to be friends. It wasn't long before we ended up in bed together again.
I have reassured him time and time again it's just fun. Yet there are times when he starts to become romantic and it weirds me out. Then he blows cold.
For example, last weekend, he cooked me a nice meal and then he started kissing my hands and complimenting me, saying he wants to 'show his real feelings'. We went for a walk in the park the next day and it was so romantic in the snow. We continued messaging for the rest of the day.
The following morning, wanting to withdraw, I showed him a screenshot of a message I received on a dating site - it was hilarious, because the guy sounded exactly like him. Yet he didn't see the funny side - he wanted to be just friends, because he couldn't handle the jealously of me seeing other men. He explained that while he could become emotionally attached to me, he wasn't able to commit because his feelings aren't strong enough.
I told him that while I liked him, I wasn't in love with him, and it'd be fine - we wouldn't fall for each other, we could keep each other in check. I asked him if he liked me - he couldn't say it. Before I left, he asked if it wouldn't be dangerous to continue - because he may become attached - that he can't separate sex from romantic attachment. I explained it wouldn't be an issue, that it wouldn't be for me. I also asked him what he meant on the weekend about showing his real feelings, he said he just didn't' want to argue anymore.
Since then, we have been exchanging some messages. Yesterday, I asked him not to be such a downer and to stop having these intense chats, and to stop picking arguments. We got into a bit of a debate about it. Seven hours on, he calls me (he never calls me usually) wanting to clear the air, even though we were going to meet the next day.
I am so confused by all of this. Does this guy actually like me? I know I should listen to him, but his actions are showing me another side.
I am falling for him, but pretending to both myself and to him that I am not. I can keep him at a distant, but not when he starts to act lovey dovey.
I am meant to be seeing him tonight, but I am too anxious. I keep wondering if I should ask him how he really feels, but we've already been here. Wonder if I should just leave things entirely before either one of us gets hurt.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
FWB - his feelings?
toffeeapple123 · 15/12/2017 15:52
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