I have recently discovered that DP has searched for naked images of a couple of celebrities at different times.
DP is 32 and these women are 20. I'm not sure if he knows their age, just likes how they look from tv/music video and wants to know if he can see more. I don't know whether to be disgusted that they are 12 yrs younger or not? But I feel disgusted.
These women are very different to me as well. Very skinny. Very short. I'm 5"10 and carrying a little weight since 2 DC. Not much but a bit of a flabbier belly. Stretch marks. DC are almost 3yo and 18mo. Could have lost weight and toned up and bit and I do plan to but I've had a mentally bad year and not looked after myself. Aside from that I could never be like them even if I lost weight.
It has knocked my confidence massively. I hated when he looked at porn (which wasn't often and didn't affect sex life, but still) in the past but this feels worse, I guess because he seeked them out and because I can see what kind of women he is into.
We basically share a tablet which he sometimes uses at work. I then see at home when I use it but cannot mention it as my mum was visiting. When my mum was out and we spoke on the phone I mentioned it and he denied it. Then he cleared that bit of history as he had it again that day.
Surely he must be wanking at work?
Today he messaged admitting the truth that he did search those images so at least he is no longer lying. He said sorry etc. But I just feel shit. I don't know how to move past it.
Please tell me your thoughts on this?
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How should I feel about this? Feel hurt, disgusted and like I can't move past it.
AlwaysPondering · 15/12/2017 12:38
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