Hi all,
I’m prepared for a pasting here to be honest but I’m in a situation in my head and I think I need outside input.
Myself and my baby’s partner separated at the start of the year. I dated a few guys and then met someone who I clicked with instantly. We were amazing together and eventually got into a relationship. It was very intense and we fell in love very quickly. Everything just felt perfect and for the first time in decades, after such a long time of hating myself (history of eating disorders) I felt like a human being again.
Then he broke it off. Very suddenly. He said he was still in love with me and his feelings for me hadn’t changed, but he was in a situation with his mental health and finances and he didn’t think he could cope with a relationship. Like a fool, I believed him and accepted it with a lot of tears.
A week later he was back on Tinder. He said his ego was low and he needed boosting. Again, I just believed him. I still held out hope if he felt that way about me, that we could try again somewhere down the line.
After we broke up I lost my appetite and my anorexia started to return. I was blaming myself as I couldn’t get the thought out of my head that he was looking for someone better on Tinder and it was all to do with my appearance. 3 weeks after the break up, we started sleeping together again. He repeatedly told me he loved me or I wouldn’t have done it...it gave me hope. He still said he wasn’t ready for a relationship with anyone, and that it was just two people who loved each other, showing that to each other via sex. Again, I just lapped it up.
4 days after the last time we slept together and he kissed me goodbye, he was in a new relationship with someone else. He met her via the friends who advised him to break up with me to begin with.
Whilst I realise we were not together, he now says he only told me he loved me and slept with me to try and help me get through my relapse. He should have been ‘clearer’ with me, he says.
I’m now deeply in the throes of anorexia and I’m in pieces. I can’t stop thinking about them together. He wants to be friends and to help me through my eating disorder, but he is the trigger for it to begin with - I’ve been well over 10 years.
I don’t know what to do. I love him but he’s moved on. I don’t know whether I should feel wronged or like an idiot for believing anything he told me. He considers this new girl ‘better’ than me and says it ‘just happened’...I can’t get past it all in my head and move forward.
Can anyone offer me ANY advice with any of this? Everything hurts :( xx
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Betrayed...Not sure if I’m being unreasonable.
SweetBerries · 14/12/2017 19:12
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