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FDR hearing today

(10 Posts)
JellyBean31 Wed 13-Dec-17 06:59:54

I'm dreading it. (1) because I'll be in the same room as him for the first time in over 2 years (2) because I don't know what to expect (3) because I'm not convinced things will go my way.

From what my kids say, he truly believes he is trying to be fair and yet he won't sell the house & wants half my pension!

Maryannesingleton Wed 13-Dec-17 07:06:06

Thinking of you, I was in the same situation a year and I understand all of those feelings. Is the house in joint names?

butterfly56 Wed 13-Dec-17 07:07:58

I know it's scary Jellybean.
Not enough info from you to give you advice.
Just wishing you luck today and hope all goes well flowers

JellyBean31 Wed 13-Dec-17 07:33:23

House is in joint names, I left in November 2014 he stayed and we agreed it'd be sold after 2 yrs seperation. He is now refusing to sell.

My company pension is worth more than his private one, but he has always earned more than me so it's his own fault for not paying more in... That said 50/50 is the law regardless of how unfair I'm this situation, so I have offered other assets to offset the value of the pension but he has refused to negotiate.

My cos are already at £10.5k so I'm concerned about that too if a judge doesn't push him to settle today and we have to go to final hearing.

StrongerThanIThought76 Wed 13-Dec-17 07:34:12

Been in your shoes, almost 4 years ago.

You've got this far, you can do this. After today the line is set in stone, hopefully he won't play silly buggers after the Judge has his say.

I can honestly say that this day will be the beginning of the rest of your life.

Hope it goes well, let us know x

JellyBean31 Wed 13-Dec-17 08:13:33

I really hope so stronger. I feel like I've been in limbo for so long that even if today is just the beginning of the end, it would be a massive positive.

spidey66 Wed 13-Dec-17 12:34:04

What does FDR mean? I googled it and got a load of stuff about Franklin D Roosevelt!

JellyBean31 Wed 13-Dec-17 18:15:41

Financial Dispute Resolution

Anyway nothing was resolved. He wouldn't budge, he wants my pension. We've come away saying we're going to a final hearing, but in reality I'm weighing up my options. It could still go against me even if I take it to the next step.

It seems so unfair that the financial position is looked at as of today, no consideration is given to the spending of patterns that led us to this point.

He's just bought himself a BMW (with a red leather interior for fuck sake) if he was that concerned about his financial future why not invest that money!

I feel like I've been shafted. We're encouraged by the system to plan for our future, but then those of us who do are penalised by that same system when a former partner is happy to be a spendthrift sponging bastard.

I'm pretty pissed off

Hermonie2016 Wed 13-Dec-17 23:44:58

Did the judge give any directives?
Is there a pension sharing report?

Completely feel for you.Ex spent over 50k prior to FDR on toys and it was just ignored.
Do you have faith in your legal team?

JellyBean31 Thu 14-Dec-17 14:35:57

There has been a pension sharing report and I recognise that I am going to have to offer something to help redress the balance as mine is worth more than his + I'm 7 yrs younger. I have offered other assets to offset.

The judge was a bit wishy washy, she offered a solution of him taking a greater percentage of the house equity but he won't go for that, so she said "oh ok it'll have to be pension sharing then" not very helpful really.

I have spoken to my solicitor today (I do have faith) as I remembered something from about 20 years ago (small on going income) that has been undeclared, he feels this is significant and in our favour so we will challenge/query it and see where that take us.

This development means if we have to go back to court because of an undisclosed income (that does effect his current pension provision) we can claim costs!

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