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Moody husband(4 Posts)
i really need advice on this because i just dont know if i should leave my husband because of his moody, unsociable, rude behaviour. We have been together over 15 years and have 2 DS (16,9). Some examples are , he gets really irritated easily with the children when they arent doing anything wrong - one might drop the remote control on the floor and the noise makes him jump and he will throw a dirty look and roll his eyes. it has now made the 9 yr old a bit nervous when he drops stuff. I'm horrified by this. In social situations he can be unpredictable. depending on what mood he is in he can be either be withdrawn or monosyllabic which makes me feel embarrassed/awkward. we've just come back from a weekend away with colleagues of mine where he constantly moaned the whole time that he didnt like them so he made no effort with them whatsoever. I was so embarrassed. why cant he just pretend to like them and make some effort? He seems to take offence at what people say really easily. whereas normal people would laugh it off he becomes defensive. On a family holiday, an innocent, jokey comment on his appearance ended up with us not speaking for 4 days and him childishly sitting at the other end of the pool. He said i should have stuck up for him. There was no need! it was a joke and he was being too sensitive. I was so embarrassed in front of my family. Recently in a car journey, someone pulled out a junction infront of him and the language and aggressiveness he used was so horrible!! there was no need for the reaction especially infront of the children. I do not want them to think that this behaviour is normal. When i pulled him up on it he said sorry but i was so shaken by the incident i just couldn't enjoy the day. He then accused me of being moody and turned the whole situation on me. he has behaved like this loads of time while driving. Today's moaney behaviour is caused by the weather and the fact that he cant work because of the rain. (he works outside) he will have a mood when i get home from work because he has missed a day at work. But its always the same thing every xmas so the weather should come as no surprise. Sorry if this all seems a bit confused but ive been putting up with it for so long i forget all the incidents but they are quite frequent. He is on anti depressants for mild depression and this does seem to help with his mood but he sometimes forgets to renew his prescription and i will notice that he has come off them when he becomes snappy at me and the DS's. do i really have to put up with this for the rest of my life?
Honestly i wouldnt put up with it, doesnt sound like you get much from the relationship other than the worries of whats he going to be like that day.
i agree and its becoming increasingly clearer as time goes on. I think i put the blinkers on while the children were young but now that they are becoming more independent its becoming clearer.
That sounds absolutely awful for all of you. Has his behaviour changed or have you realised he's actually a bit of a git and always has been? I wondered if he ever did a high stress job/was in the military or had a traumatic experience in the past? Some of the things you describe sound like PTSD symptoms. Obviously he could just be a moaning pita and that's that but it could also be that he needs to find help with his anger and hyper sensitivity and if he did, things might slowly improve. Best wishes to you.
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