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Can it work if..

(13 Posts)
Shayelle Mon 11-Dec-17 17:14:51

... a man is highly intelligent, qualified, well travelled, successful? And the woman (me!) does not have a lot of education but has a good stable job (in admin, not a high flyer).. I feel a bit inadequate and dull when he tells me things about what he’s done in his life. Like he could meet someone more like him, than me...

Could it work??

Babyblues052 Mon 11-Dec-17 17:23:06

Yes it can. But not with that attitude. Your insecurities can have a negative impact. If he's with you and wants to spend time with you then he obviously like you regardless of how inadequate you feel.

I say don't second guess why he's interested and just enjoy the fact that he is and have fun together. Unless you've lived in a box your whole life I'm sure you have experiences to share too smile

SendintheArdwolves Mon 11-Dec-17 17:23:50

It sounds like the issue here is your self-esteem, OP, not your education levels or how much you've travelled.

Is he making you feel inadequate ("jokes" that aren't really jokes, talking down to you, trying to impress you, etc) in which case RUN AWAY NOW.

But if this is just you having a chip on your shoulder, then you need to find a way to feel good about yourself - focus on things you are proud of, set goals for yourself, etc.

Dozer Mon 11-Dec-17 17:25:32

Don’t put him on a pedestal.

Shayelle Mon 11-Dec-17 17:28:39

Thank you for your replies. No he hasnt said one off word to me or things he’s done compared to me. He is really nice and kind. It is 100% self esteem sad (lack of)

NotTheFordType Mon 11-Dec-17 17:30:15

Sure it could work, if he values your other qualities over your life experience.

I'd say it's much more important to be kind, honest, straightforward and loyal than it is to be academic, rich, ambitious or well-travelled.

My current BF is a high flyer with a long banking career, looking at early retirement next year, has been to every country you can think of, has met a lot of celebrities/politicians/whatever due to his work. None of that impresses me (although it does make him interesting to talk to!) - I'm more concerned that he's kind, helpful, and funny.

But as a PP said, if he talks down to you or makes you feel like "the little woman" then I'd run a fucking mile.

Joysmum Mon 11-Dec-17 17:32:43

‘Hasn’t’ doesn’t mean ‘can’t’

That’s where your attitude is important. Have an open mind and do as much as you can together so you grow together. That doesn’t just mean you growing to be like him, it means you growing into who you are and him sharing in that too.

Shayelle Mon 11-Dec-17 17:32:43

Thanks Ford. Thats amazing to read. Yeah his personality traits are what I care about, is he kind, funny... he is. I find the career intimidating but when I forget about that and we waffle on about day to day stuff it feels just easy and cool and we have a laugh.

Shayelle Mon 11-Dec-17 17:34:49

Thank you Joysmum. Hoping as we get to know each other better I’ll feel less intimidated by the career and think more about the here and now, do we get on etc.

Tinselistacky Mon 11-Dec-17 17:36:31

My dh is management and I am a cleaner!! We have a great relationship!!
He loves YOU!!

Shayelle Mon 11-Dec-17 17:37:38

Thanks Tinsel. Thats so sweet fgrin

Shayelle Mon 11-Dec-17 17:38:35

We’ve only just met (I threw a drink on him by accident.. ) he was very nice about it grin

Tinselistacky Mon 11-Dec-17 18:19:03

I met dh in a bar on a Saturday night 5 years ago. Never had a single night apart since!! Married with a toddler now!
Embrace your new life op!!

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