So today I’ve discovered my husband is strutting around minus his wedding ring. It’s totally floored me, he sent a picture this morning of him wearing his birthday present (a t-shirt) zooming in I could see no wedding ring on.
Bit of back story, married 7 yrs for the past year he’s been living and working in another country miles and miles away. We have two children(5&6) yrs old who I look after solely - no family close by and both diagnosed with autism. It’s been a real challenge for me this past year but we are now a year on and actually doing ok. My marriage however has suffered greatly. At the time of taking the job abroad it was for financial reasons and too good to turn down, I supported the decision to better our future.
I’ve seen a real change in him in the past year, he’s now got quite a social life out most nights and a whole new circle of friends. I’m not suggesting he stays in and keeps his head down but he was never a sociable man so I’m surprised by his new found life. After our family holiday in April at Centre Parcs which was a wonderful enjoyable time for us all he went awol.. told a pack of lies about a business trip which turned out to be a jolly touring around Italy and I had very little contact from him. This raised serious suspicion for me, avoiding calls from your wife?? Only when I threatened to call his work to find out where he was did he panic and call me. After that lie the trust was gone for me and I’ve found it very hard to get past that point.
I’ve caught him a couple of times on Skype without his wedding ring on - I pulled him up once on it and was told he’d taken it off to do washing up.. fast forward 6 months and here we are it’s off again (three photos in four days all minus his wedding ring) so when I questioned it this morning I was told he’d taken it off for the dentists visit Monday when he had x-rays.
Utter bull right? Why not put it back on after? I don’t know about anyone else but when I take my rings off I feel odd without them!
Please be gentle with your replies, I’m very fragile right now. Faced with the thought of bringing up two little boys alone both with special needs in a house I absolutely hate and my husband the other side of the world weeks before Christmas I feel like telling him to come home immediately and walking away!!
This is all unfolding and the reality is making me feel sick to the bottom of my stomach. I’m shaking, I can’t get my head around it all.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I'm done and feel like walking
justme93 · 07/12/2017 16:48
His behaviour is definitely very suspicious , I'm sorry you're going through this . Have you got any support from parents/ friends?
If you was to leave where would you go? Have you considered some options , like maybe calling on loved ones to support you with this if needed?
Sending hugs 
he's living as a Single Man now OP.. he's already mentally left the relationship
you are a very strong and clever woman, I really congratulate you.
By the sounds of it you would be able to manage financially if you divorced - you should get at least 50% of everything and maintenance for the children (plus possible spousal maintenance).
Speak to a good solicitor, and make a decision based on proper legal information. It sounds like he isn't bringing anything to your marriage anyway apart from money, so you may well be better off on your own... I know it sounds incredibly daunting to bring up children without a partner, but he isn't really doing anything anyway, is he?
You are doing a brilliant job with your dc. Well done and keep going!
if he works overseas ... he may have overseas bank accounts... which you would struggle to access .. you need to think clever Lady.. try to get as much information as you can about the finances ...
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.