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Spark in long distance relationships

(6 Posts)
QueenOfUniverse Thu 07-Dec-17 09:29:27

Hi guys me and my boyfriend are very happy with our long distance relationship... we are planning to get married by 2019😍😍😍
But currently I'm kind of bothered abt our communication
I feel we have lost the spark the madness and fun we used to have in our conversations
He has exams since one month so calling is kinda ok we call one a week
We text each other daily but the spark is missing
What shud I do to make him enjoy the conversation and make him feel good?

CoyoteCafe Thu 07-Dec-17 11:22:46

My advice is to give him space to get through his exams and be supptive rather than trying to make him feel a certain way.

People have a range of emotions and moods. He isn’t going to be all “madness and fun” 100% of the time. No one is.

mindutopia Thu 07-Dec-17 11:41:12

I think the connection is either there or its not. I don't know there is something magical you can do to make things more interesting, other than just setting aside time to talk most days, keeping each other involved in what's going on in your life, but also being okay with giving each other space when life gets in the way. And also making the most of the time you really do have physically together.

My husband and I were long distance for about 2.5 years, on opposite sides of the world, about an 11 hour flight from each other when we were dating. We actually almost never talked by phone or skype when we were apart as the time difference made it difficult (one of us was almost always at work or in class), but we chatted and emailed throughout the day. And we would basically have 'dates' where we were home, had a few drinks together (but apart), ate lunch/dinner together, etc. and just chatted a few times a week. So it was what we would do if we were together just hanging out, but we did it via gchat (this was a long time ago now).

But we also really focused on maximising the time we had when we were actually together. We flew to see each other about 4 times a year for 2-4 weeks at a time (so we each did the trip about every 6 months). We made those times really special and focused on the future.

Unfortunately, I don't think there is much you can do to make being apart more bearable than that. It was just staying busy and focusing on when we knew being apart would end and making plans for the future.

TheNaze73 Thu 07-Dec-17 11:42:25

I think you need to back off as Coyote says.

He’d appreciate that more than you trying to engineer conversations that he’ll enjoy more

TheFifthKey Thu 07-Dec-17 11:49:09

Designated date time is good, whether over chat or Skype - it really gives you both something to look forward to. I've also enjoyed having a TV programme on the go that you're both watching - not necessarily at the same time but you both keep up to date with it and it gives you something to talk about/joke about and just is a little bonding thing. It's easy to feel distant when one or both of you are busy, I find. You need to make a conscious effort to find something, however small, that connects you.

QueenOfUniverse Thu 07-Dec-17 11:55:00

Thank you guys for such amazing ideas. I think I shud keep silent till his exams are done and then maybe go see him. And might as well start with Skype dates and stuff to make him feel more comfortable 😍 thanks guys

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