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Why does this hurt? Distractions needed please

(9 Posts)
MinnieMul Thu 07-Dec-17 09:02:33


I really need a distraction right now. I came out of a long term relationship earlier in the year and it was tough but I managed NC after a while and although he has moved on, we are now friends and decided that it was for the best all along. However, I have been on a few dates and seemed to meet a really nice guy on Tinder (Yes, I know!) and we got on really well. We text every day and went on dates, stayed at each others etc etc. I didn't think I was pushing for a relationship as this year has been tough.

I went into hospital for a week and he still text me every day and on Saturday we made plans to spend the day together Sunday. However, on Sunday morning he text saying he wasn't ready for a relationship and it is best that we don't see each other. I was so shocked! I did not push for a relationship and it was always him making the plans and talking about meeting his family etc. It is my birthday today and even Saturday he was talking about presents etc. so now I have no plans and feel completely let down. I did send him a text to say that I am disappointed and shocked but he didn't reply. He did send a snapchat on Monday asking if I am okay but again, he didn't reply. He has deleted me off snapchat now but on no other sites.

I feel so stupid for feeling so hurt and let down, like I barely knew the guy so I am unsure why it hurts this much? I know I should block him on everything, I have deleted his number so I can't be tempted to contact him but I thought he would at least say Happy Birthday today! I know a lot of people have bigger problems but I don't really have many people to talk to about this.

Why do guys have to act like this?

ShatnersWig Thu 07-Dec-17 09:16:55

Minnie People of both sexes act like that, it's not just men.

Texting is the devil's work. People get arsey or worried that the person they've seen three times has seen their message but haven't replied within 15 minutes. So they send another one.

I think people need to ease of the whole texting thing so they they don't get so caught up in it. Like in the days before mobiles and when people just arranged a date and maybe spoke on the landline every couple of days.

Needs to go back to being more easy going

MinnieMul Thu 07-Dec-17 09:39:15


I think you are right! My long term relationship was long distance so we did text a lot and I am not sure if that may have been the issue but I don't think I was obsessive over it this time! I guess I am better off without him though!

jpl888 Thu 07-Dec-17 12:59:50

Okay, so either something scared him off, or he's already got someone else and you were the "bit on the side". Difficult to tell because much of the relationship conducted through text. :P

He sounds like a shit, and you're better off with someone more nearby so you can tell what's going on.

Anything else you need help with here?

MinnieMul Thu 07-Dec-17 14:44:04

jpl888 oh he is local which makes it worse. We just texted every day in between spending time together. He even said in the text that he should be doing in person but clearly he didn't want to. Even now I think he knows where I live and work surely it wouldn't be too hard to give me an explanation of what went wrong so quickly. I am half tempted to delete him on all social media now but I think I'd be doing it just to prove a point and that seems childish as he isn't contacting me anyway...

jpl888 Thu 07-Dec-17 15:08:06

I think if it were me I would cut off all contact. Better left far behind, that guy.

jpl888 Thu 07-Dec-17 15:08:30

Including social media, I mean.

Huskylover1 Thu 07-Dec-17 15:11:03

He sounds flakey.

And too much of a tight wad to buy you a pressie.

Move on. Happy Birthday!! flowers

MinnieMul Thu 07-Dec-17 15:17:56

jpl88 hmm yeah I think that will be best!

Huskylover1 thats what I thought too and I wouldn't have even cared. Took me a while to even say my birthday was coming up as I didn't really want him to know but then he even showed me pics of what he was looking at on Saturday! Strange.... Thank you

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