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WWYD: Boyfriend at Gentleman’s Club

(79 Posts)
sunshiney78 Thu 07-Dec-17 07:26:51

Hello
I’ve been dating someone for just over 2 months. Last night he & his colleague took some clients out to a fancy dinner. He kept in touch with me until I went to bed & this morning I received a text when was sent around 3am saying he’s on his way home.

I asked him what he did after dinner & he said the clients wanted to go to a gebtleman’s Club, so that’s where they took them.

How would you react to this?

TheLuminaries Thu 07-Dec-17 07:27:53

After only 2 months it is easy - dump and run.

Timefor2 Thu 07-Dec-17 07:29:06

This is still relatively common in certain industries i think sad The question is whether you want to be with someone who works in a job that requires (or at least expects, if not requires) this...

SaturdayNightAtTheMovies Thu 07-Dec-17 07:29:15

I'd end it.

2 months is nothing.

Ifailed Thu 07-Dec-17 07:29:15

LTB. Anyone who uses the term "gentleman's club" is a fuckwit.

user1480334601 Thu 07-Dec-17 07:31:27

What the hell is a gentlemans club? If it's a strip club there's certainly nothing gentlemanly about that angry

Run

sunshiney78 Thu 07-Dec-17 07:32:05

Thank you. x That’s what I thought, but wasn’t sure if I was being a overreacting prude.

DelphiniumBlue Thu 07-Dec-17 07:34:01

I don't think a gentleman's club is necessarily a strip club. Ask him him about it when you see him.

SaturdayNightAtTheMovies Thu 07-Dec-17 07:36:36

Of course a gentleman's club is a strip club confused

What do you think it is?

It's just one that's expensive and 'glamorous' to give the illusion of not being seedy.

Would be curious as to what his reaction is when you end it, Sun.

userxx Thu 07-Dec-17 07:43:59

I don't see what the big deal is.

Ifailed Thu 07-Dec-17 07:45:31

I suppose there's a faint chance that this "gentleman's club" was the sort of place the likes of Jacob Rees Mogg sits in huge leather armchairs smoking cigars, drinking brandy whilst looking at risqué lithographs of young women's ankles. In which case you should LTB.

sunshiney78 Thu 07-Dec-17 07:49:30

I have confirmed it was an upmarket strip club.

ClareB83 Thu 07-Dec-17 07:52:26

I don't see the big deal if it's for work. My Mum used to have to go to strip clubs for work when she was on business trips abroad because that's how business was done.

hugoagogo Thu 07-Dec-17 07:55:16

I was picturing something out of PG Wodehouse!confused

SaturdayNightAtTheMovies Thu 07-Dec-17 07:55:48

I don't see the big deal if it's for work.

Tbh, that is part of the problem. The reduction of women to commodities to be bought as entertainment is the big deal.

jeaux90 Thu 07-Dec-17 07:55:59

Sun it depends on your own beliefs. If you believe that strip clubs objectify women and perpetuate men's dominated position in our society then dump. If you believe that this industry is empowering for women then don't. If you pick the latter then I would advise you to get a bit of equality in the relationship and take yourself off to a similar place with your girlfriends and see what his reaction is. That will tell you more.

jeaux90 Thu 07-Dec-17 07:56:28

I mean a male strip club of course

MotherOfDragons22 Thu 07-Dec-17 08:15:52

Non issue imo. The clients wanted to go.

Polichinelle Thu 07-Dec-17 08:20:17

Very common expectation with some clients. I would not dump him for this. If it's the expectation in his industry, he can either do it or change industries. It's not that easy to refuse sometimes

sunshiney78 Thu 07-Dec-17 09:30:14

I asked him to be honest with me. He said they had a private dance as a group on the floor. It just makes me feel upset that he was lusting over another woman. 😔

MagicFajita Thu 07-Dec-17 09:34:57

It sounds like you're not okay with it op , and that's an opinion you're entitled to.

You need to stop seeing him if you think this will be a long-term issue.

PizzaPlease Thu 07-Dec-17 09:36:34

I mean it's definitely something I wouldn't know how to feel about, but I do think that there's something to be said about the honesty. He was pretty forthcoming.

MagicFajita Thu 07-Dec-17 09:37:43

Just to say (flame me if you wish) that I wouldn't like it. It's not empowering for women imo, it's women being bought for male entertainment.

But it's your decision. Can you live with it?

ClareB83 Thu 07-Dec-17 09:40:15

Yes @SaturdayNightAtTheMovies I agree the club itself and it's use in business dealings is bad. But I wouldn't be mad at my OH for just going along with this at work, not everyone wants to be an activist/protester. And even if they do they have to know when and which battles to take on.

teaortequila23 Thu 07-Dec-17 09:41:24

I don’t see the issue.
My partner has to go wine and dine clients and if they asked to go somewhere you pretty much have to take them.
I would maybe just ask if it’s his first time or how often he has been in his life. He should answer truthfully if he goes a lot then I would dump him but if he only goes when clients want to go I would be ok with it

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