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Can I just celebrate how good my boundaries have got?

(15 Posts)
Rangelife Wed 06-Dec-17 18:39:18

3 years ago I was broken after a physically, sexually, emotionally and financially abusive marriage.

This year I have got a really good new job, ended a relationship with someone who looked like they were about to turn into a cocklodger so my boundaries and self esteem have risen.

But today I did really well. I was messaging someone who I met online. I only started an online profile on Sunday so I was new to it all. I ended up deleting my profile on Tuesday because some of the men on there (POF) were ridiculous. Their messages and hundreds of 'meet me' thing made me feel like a piece of meat so I got rid but gave one guy (who seemed nice) my number before I shut it.

Today the fucker asked me to send him a full length picture (there were two on my profile) so I did and said he couldn't tell if I was fat or not!

I'm a size 12. I've had 3 DC's so I'm not skinny but I'm not fat. 4 years ago I'd have accepted that. I told him to do one and I wouldn't be interested in being with someone who was shallow and willing to start in on my self esteem before he'd even met me!

Small victory but it felt good! Cheeky fucker!

donerwillbehere Wed 06-Dec-17 18:46:35

Yayyy .... well done 👍. How good must you feel ? I have to say OLD to me is like a cattle market , expectations and the front of men and probably women to . I am left thinking to myself seriously would you behave like that if I was infront if you . The mentality of some men like little boys in a sweet shop . I pleased to hear you have you self esteem and boundaries firmly in place . It sounds like to me you have had an awful time , through the hands of some douchebag. wineto you . Your post gives me hope smile

user1497997754 Wed 06-Dec-17 18:53:01

Well done should feel really proud of yourself....never settle for just okay....raise the bar....when you do your self worth with be awesome....wishing you a lovely Christmas and fab 2018

Rangelife Wed 06-Dec-17 19:01:50

When he said I can't tell if you are fat or not (from the picture) immediately my brain just went 'No...' he tried to back track grin

I feel so good knowing that at 38 and after a lifetime of shit I finally can tell men to go fuck themselves. I was raped at 11 by my cousin, that piece of shit took my childhood and my EXH nearly took my life and it feels great to be able to say to myself I'm not putting up with any more shit. Im actually being kind to myself. It feels good.

Tinselistacky Wed 06-Dec-17 19:03:01

You should have asked for a dick pic and told him it wasn't up to scratch....

Rangelife Wed 06-Dec-17 19:17:08

Ha! Yeah. I should have said 'No chance prawn dick' smile

CanalTrip Wed 06-Dec-17 19:50:28

Well done. Firm boundaries and staying positive!

Mari50 Wed 06-Dec-17 20:47:00

Yeah, I found myself being firmer when chatting online as well. Why some men think negging is ever a good approach is beyond me- get to fuck was my response.
Couldn’t care if there are no more fish in the sea, i’m not entertaining shit like that ever again.
Well done Rangelife!!

ariellarose Wed 06-Dec-17 21:05:31

You should feel proud. I've slowly become much firmer in my boundaries since leaving an abusive relationship and it feels so good.

MrsMozart Wed 06-Dec-17 21:16:07

Very well done!

bowtieandheels Wed 06-Dec-17 23:51:21

Love that!

Pannacott Fri 08-Dec-17 09:34:53

Good job OP. I really like the way that you didn't go down the 'that's quite a hurtful thing to say' route, but just spotted and called him on his shorty behaviour, and sacked him off. Excellent self respect and self care there!

Pannacott Fri 08-Dec-17 09:35:22

Shitty not shorty, sorry!

Iooselipssinkships Fri 08-Dec-17 13:05:33

High five OP! Love it.

Wellfuckmeinbothears Fri 08-Dec-17 14:05:34

Well done! What an absolute bell end he is.

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