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Eharmony V Match or neither? Any advice...

(15 Posts)
Snoopy10 Wed 06-Dec-17 17:29:38

Anyone have any advice on either of these sites? I have provisionally joined - put profile photos up etc - but not payed Eharmony. Have 50 messages apparently but not sure if they are real. Match looks like a mine field and less private. I am early 40s and have been out of scene for 12 years. Really need some real life stories or any advice re meeting people elsewhere if that still happens. Thanks in advance for any advice.

Snoopy10 Wed 06-Dec-17 17:31:42

Paid * not payed

Pebbles1989 Wed 06-Dec-17 18:16:21

Match seemed to have a lot of people on it but few were my type. eHarmony was RUBBISH... You have so little control over the people you’re matched with and then you can see so little about them.

ariellarose Wed 06-Dec-17 18:19:53

I never tried e harmony so can't comment.

I didn't like match, not that many users (I'm in London), not very many attractive men imo, the app itself isn't great either. I thought it was a real let down for £30 a month.

Have you tried any of the free apps?

Franwith2and1 Wed 06-Dec-17 18:26:30

Met lots of very suitable men through match and my current partner also! Some scammers but the ones I met were great!

Mari50 Wed 06-Dec-17 18:43:04

I’m mid 40’s and I tried POF first.
Didn’t want to commit financially in case everyone was ugly and/or I had trouble cancelling my subscription.
There are lots of men that i personally didn’t find very attractive.
There were a lot of men who don’t seem to like women very much (judging by what they had written)
I got lots of interest- not necessarily from people I was interested in.
I did meet someone (first person I messaged) - two months down the line things are going fine.
When I provisionally tried eHarmony it couldn’t find me a match hilariously- but a colleague at work did meet her husband on this site.

Mari50 Wed 06-Dec-17 18:44:29

Shouldn’t have said ‘incase everyone was ugly’ -was being flippant (and shallow)

Beentherelefthimgotthetshirt Wed 06-Dec-17 19:35:56

I found eharmony horrendous. You're matched so narrowly and then you can't see anyone else. Match was dire. I like POF. It's free and if you set your filters well it's not too horrendous. You get chancers, one night stand hopefuls etc on all sites whether you pay or not. Use the block button and filter filter filter.

Snoopy10 Wed 06-Dec-17 20:29:09

Hi, thank you all so much for sharing your experiences. I guess it is just down to luck of the draw as in real life then. I know what you mean Marie - as in, in case you weren’t attracted to any of them which is kind of necessary (not shallow)! I hadn’t even heard of POF might take a look. It is all a bit daunting- should try to think of it all as having fun but it doesn’t feel quite so free and easy as it once was.

Mari50 Wed 06-Dec-17 20:41:19

Just take everything very lightly and try not to over invest (if you manage this then well done, I sure as shit didn’t)
Make your profile fun and quirky and don’t use snapchat filters (from what I have gleaned this is a massive put off)
I ‘favourited’ the people I found attractive and waited to see if they then looked at my profile- if they did then I messaged.
I imagine if I had been on the site longer or if I have to rejoin i’ll probably be more proactive and just message the men I like- no point doing anything else if you ask me.
My experience was good, I started messaging someone I liked straight away and he liked me back, we organised a date etc etc
One thing I would say is get a date organised for sooner rather than later - that will help reducing the emotional investment in someone who might not be right which can definitely happen with prolonged messaging.
Good luck!!!!

mintich Wed 06-Dec-17 21:08:42

I met my fiance through mysinglefriend. I also have every 2nd who met her husband through that site

mintich Wed 06-Dec-17 21:09:36

* a friend not every 2nd!!!

Nicae Wed 06-Dec-17 21:20:35

I met my husband through Match. I also met a few, let's just say, less desirable men too. I thought as a means of introduction it was fine. I live in a fairly out of the way place and still had lots of possible matches, you really just have to not take it too seriously to start off with and as a previous poster has said I would recommend meeting people sooner rather than later. I emailed one bloke for weeks and weeks, he was lovely and I was so looking forward to meeting him, when we did finally meet there was just no spark, he was great, just not for me. Internet dating can be awful but it really can work. I met my husband for the first time 5 and a half years ago, we've been married nearly 4 years and have a 3 and 1 year old, so for me it was worth it!

furlinedsheepskinjacket Thu 07-Dec-17 01:06:59

match was awful - guys kept getting deleted.some real charmers on there.

nothing happened on eharmony - literally nothing.

ok cupid - a few nice guys but not my type looks wise and blimey! - i've never been propositioned so many times.ugh.

Changedname3456 Thu 07-Dec-17 10:42:54

Plenty of Fish worked for me (bloke) although it’s not without its faults. Lots of half-filled profiles, profiles with no pics and quite a lot of dormant accounts that will still show up.

It was still a lot better than Match though, which I thought was massively over priced.

Met my DP through POF and we’ve been together for just over 4 years so it can work. My tip would be to be wary but try not to be too cynical. And persevere!

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