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Should you expect emotional support from your man

(4 Posts)
Jacaranda77 Tue 05-Dec-17 12:46:41

Unfortunately my mum and I don’t get along and we’ve fallen out. My mum involves my Dad and she exaggerates and makes it out to be all my fault. Anyway, me and my boyfriend go round there as my mum has requested to see our little boy before he goes away for a couple of days with his other Grandma. We get there and my Dad starts saying I’m a horrible person and that I shouldn’t speak to my mum that way, I ask what he means and he can’t say, and I get upset and cry. My Mum comes in the room and has a smug look on her face. My boyfriend sits away from me, my 12 year old daughter puts her arm around me. The 3 of them then start talking like I’m not there. While I’m sobbing on the sofa. (I’m 9 weeks pregnant, but my parents don’t know that) The reason I’m upset now is because my boyfriend did nothing. I didn’t expect him to get involved, but I was upset that he didn’t ask if I was ok, offer me a tissue, touch me on the arm. Anything, but there was nothing. Even in the car on the way home he didn’t say a word. We’d had words before going round there as my Mum always texts him and he’s fed up with it and he blamed me because we don’t get on. I told him I’m sorry that inconvenienced him, but I’d much rather have a Mum I got along with. It was like he was getting some sort of power trip from it. He makes me feel so alone, am I being too sensitive?

LesisMiserable Tue 05-Dec-17 12:52:02

It depends whether he's an emotionally supportive boyfriend as a rule really doesnt it. If he isnt then no you can't expect it. Well you can, but you'll be repeatedly disappointed.

oneggshellsallthetime Tue 05-Dec-17 14:21:50

As pp said it depends on what he's like in general. My partner rarely shows any sympathy, or empathy.

Perhaps he was out of his depth dealing with situation where your family were around but ignoring you. And your son was probably wondering why you were distressed but ignored - if old enough to be aware. What a toxic sounding family - based on what you have said. I wouldn't bother taking my child around again until your relationship with them is on a better standing. In my family we have diasagreements ut we never let them last any length of time. We put them behind us and we all move on. Ultimately we all know we can rely on each other, and we love each other. Which makes me wonder if this is the first situation of this type you've experienced with your family. If a one off based on, perhaps, the way you said something in the early days of hormonal turmoil due to being pregnant - then maybe it will be able to be sorted once you tell them your good news.

oneggshellsallthetime Tue 05-Dec-17 14:23:19

Sorry - went off on a tangent.

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