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Help please

(3 Posts)
MACca987 Mon 04-Dec-17 22:55:03

In April of 2015 my husband of 17 year told me he had be seeing someone else (at the time he was 45 she was 23years old). After 6 months apart from each other we started to make up and get back together. We bought a new house in December of 2015 and I thought this would be a new start. In February 2016 he left me and our two kids ( aged 15 and 11) again. Approximately 6 months later he tells me he is seeing that girl again, move forward a year and a bit and he now tells me he is taking our kids away on holiday with his girlfriend. I am absolutely distraught that our kids will be in holiday with this girl. Over the last few years I have had counselling, life coaching been hypnotised and been on anti depressants but nothing seems to help. I really need somebody to talk to who has been in this situation and how did you cope with your kids being with your husbands girlfriend? We are obviously seperated but we are still married. I’m desperate, please help me

stella23 Mon 04-Dec-17 23:56:52

Do they want to go? I really think it's down to them to choose. As horrible as it is

The only ideas I can offer is to make sure you are getting maintenance.

That's a fairly big age gap, I wonder if it will last long.

Josuk Tue 05-Dec-17 00:16:02

OP - i don’t know how your financials are arranged - but if I were you, i’d get a formal separation of assets and maintenance. As soon as possible.
He may be generous to you now that it’s all fresh. But eventually - the younger woman - and keeping her happy with trips and all that - that’ll get higher on his agenda.
And while the kids aren’t grown - you will get a more favourable settlement.
So - really - don’t wait for him to come back. He won’t.
He is not your H anymore. He moved on. He is an Ex.

It hurts. And it will for a long time. But the only way of dealing with it is moving on. Properly separating. Giving yourself a new start.

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