Had a gut feeling something was wrong in our marriage for the last few years and recently started doing some digging (he was hiding phone, credit card bills, being oddly hostile to me etc). In the last few weeks OH has admitted to one affair which was quite a few years ago, but nothing else. I didn't believe him and kept digging and he finally confessed to having been using prostitutes for the last 3-4 years, at least 3 different ones. Anyone's marriage ever recovered from such a double blow? I have said I want to separate, but am all over the place and can't think straight.
No, I think that given time and space, you'll realise it's better to quit now. You won't ever be able to trust him again. This isn't a one off or being carried away, this is the thought out buying of sex.
If you were dating someone and found out that they’d used prostitutes for years you wouldn’t carry on dating them or marry them, so why would you want to stay married to such a person. Do you have any children?
Sadly I think you're right, he's remorseful because he's been caught. As well as the affair and prostitutes, he's been lying to you, been hostile toward you, secretive etc, that's a lot to come back from. Also it's a lot to deal with, no wonder you can't think straight. Is he still at home with you? At the very least he needs to leave for a couple of days so you can try and get your thoughts together. I know it's hard but is there someone you can talk to about this?
Been there. So sorry for you- started off admitting to 1/3/5 etc. Ended up being about 30. For me it’s the sneaking around. And the fact I was totally unaware it was going on, and feeling weirdly ashamed, even though I knew it wasn’t really my problem. Be aware that there might be more revelations to come. I’m sorry to say that, but I wish someone had told me to be prepared. Obviously, I hope I’m wrong for your sake x