Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

I feel so worthless

(9 Posts)
Elfontheshelfiscreepyasfuck Mon 04-Dec-17 00:09:52

I don't even know why I am writing this. I just don't have anyone else to say it to.
I feel like I put on a mask everyday to be mum and wife but no one ever sees me.
I love my kids and I know they are designed to drain you emotionally but they give me so much back.

my husband doesn't seem to see me as anything beyond a mum and housekeeper.
It has been really getting to me lately that he never pays me any compliments or shows appreciation of anything that isn't to do with the kids.
So tonight I was a little emotional and asked him if he still finds me attractive because I have been feeling insecure and he got really annoyed and told me that I think too much. Then he fell asleep....

So now I'm laying on bed trying not to get upset because maybe I am being ridiculous?

NickyNora Mon 04-Dec-17 00:11:00

flowerscakebrew for you Op...

pog100 Mon 04-Dec-17 00:13:56

Of course you are not being ridiculous, they are your feelings and are fully valid. If you feel them, they are real and your feelings are as important as anyone elses. You need to get this through to him how serious it is. It threatens the whole relationship. Tell him this calmly, clearly, icily and mean it. You are IMPORTANT.

guest477337 Mon 04-Dec-17 00:15:20

Don't be silly, you're not being ridiculous. It's hard OP thanks

If it's really getting to you maybe speak with your husband and explain how you feel. Or maybe organise a date night if you can get baby sitters, get dressed up and go out for the night the two of you. Maybe spending some time alone together would be good.

LineysRunner Mon 04-Dec-17 00:15:21

No you're not being ridiculous. Sorry he's being so emotionally distant flowers You don't deserve that.

KingLear Mon 04-Dec-17 00:15:55

I could have written this post!! OP in my head I know I'm not worthless (and neither are you!!!) but in my heart not so sure. DH says he still finds me attractive but he's not a very good liar bless him.
flowers for you

Elfontheshelfiscreepyasfuck Mon 04-Dec-17 00:25:07

Thank you all for replying it means so much to have someone hear me.

I will try and talk to him tomorrow once I have pulled myself together a bit. I just feel like I am just a convenience and not a choice I guess.

I am confident in all other areas of my life but recently I am anxiously waiting for any little scrap of attention from him. It's pathetic, I am pathetic. I am so angry with myself for allowing it to effect me so much!

I am sorry you are going through similar king it is heartbreaking.

springydaffs Mon 04-Dec-17 00:33:21

Hang on a minute. There are some things in life you don't get to choose. One of them is needing affirmation and respect from those close. It's not weak to need these things.

Your flame is going out bcs of neglect. We are not lone rangers in life, we need other people, especially those close. For whatever reason your husband is not recognising what a truly blessed man he is to have you.

His bad, not yours flowers

LineysRunner Mon 04-Dec-17 00:34:22

You're not at all pathetic. You're articulate, empathetic, intelligent and come across as bloody nice. I know a lot of people who would dearly Iove to find such a partner.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: