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Relationship rut

(4 Posts)
Mrsconfused1984 Sun 03-Dec-17 14:14:43

I need advice or maybe just some perspective
DH is a really lovely guy good father to our dc does his share of housework etc we both work FT in demanding corporate roles

Recently we felt that we were drifting apart a bit- normal I expect when you have ft jobs hobbies and dc- so we had a few nights away on our own in away other city and really brought us closer but dh said that- although we have a rather "healthy" sex life that I should initiate it more
I agree I usually wait for him to initiate it and that's agree confidence thing however since this point (were talking less than 6 weeks) the following has happened

I tried to initiate sex and he seemed up for it then confessed he had literally just had a wank in the shower and so it was a no go. I felt rejected and hurt (was this and overreaction ) the children were at my dp house and we never have opportunity like that so I was a bit shocked...

Secondly this week again no chance of dc 'interrupting' so I put on a sexy outfit came downstairs and he was really pleasantly surprised but then said he was awaiting an arranged phone call 'in the next ten mins'

Again I was hurt and rejected so put my comfies on and that was that. The call was personal not work related and could have been ignored for context. Also he had expected me to sit around for however long he took on the call and then still be up for it

Context both mid 30s fit and healthy been together and married 10years

Am I overreacting by feeling put out hurt rejected and like I shouldn't bother

MissConductUS Sun 03-Dec-17 15:46:37

I think that if you were not having sex regularly it's not personal to you that he's masturbating. Bad timing that it happened shortly before you tried to initiate, or had a call to make, etc. but probably nothing more.

Try scheduling sex. Yes, I know, it's sounds terribly unromantic but it makes it much more likely that either of you will feel rejected. And it gives you something to look forward to. grin

cherrycola2004 Sun 03-Dec-17 17:20:59

yeah, agree, sex schedule and then anything else is a bonus. that's what we do as both busy with work etc. usually one day at the weekend and one day in the week (sometimes more)

Mrsconfused1984 Sun 03-Dec-17 20:03:18

Thank you both- I did actually suggest that but he said that was a bad idea. May bring it up again
Thanks

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