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Begged partner to stay - is there any way back?

(13 Posts)
mrskevinclifton Sun 03-Dec-17 08:39:13

My partner says he has been unhappy for a while and wants to leave and move out after 15 years together. I was hysterical and begged him to not to go and he has stayed the night, we had sex etc. Is there a way back from this?

TheStoic Sun 03-Dec-17 08:49:33

Only if he cuts off all contact with the other woman.

Pinkpillows Sun 03-Dec-17 08:56:43

Other woman?

If he's unhappy you need to find the issues to why he is, and reasonably see if your both willing to work at it

Certainly having sex and begging will do nothing to repair this. If he wants to leave you have dignity and let him go

Kr1st1na Sun 03-Dec-17 09:00:55

If he's unhappy you need to find the issues to why he is, and reasonably see if your both willing to work at it

I disagree . If HE is unhappy then HE needs to tell the OP why.

But he obviously doesn’t want to work at it because he wants to leave.

I agree that there’s probably another woman.

OP tell him to pack his bags and leave today.

AttilaTheMeerkat Sun 03-Dec-17 09:01:47

In answer to your question only if he cuts all contact with the other woman.

What you describe in terms of your own reactions is hysterical bonding (the sex) and the pick me dance. Both states of mind do you no favours ultimately and will make you simply feel more wretched. I would also think that he has another woman to go to, men do not just simply up sticks and move out like this without somewhere else to go to.

HRTpatch Sun 03-Dec-17 09:02:46

Please have some dignity.

AlternativeTentacle Sun 03-Dec-17 09:02:56

Is there a way back from this?

Yes let him go. If he isn't into you then you will be wasting your life.

user1493423934 Sun 03-Dec-17 09:09:41

Been there, done that (3 times cringe). Begged him to stay, said I'd change etc . . . and he looked at me with pity and said 'User - don't do this to yourself.'
Let him go

Annelind Sun 03-Dec-17 09:24:56

Tell him yes he must go if he's unhappy, and grieve here. Keep your dignity, OP flowers

LIZS Sun 03-Dec-17 09:32:24

Now just send him on his way, thanks but no thanks.

PerfectlyDone Sun 03-Dec-17 09:33:45

He has already left the relationship, sorry.

Value yourself enough to cut him loose.

notacooldad Sun 03-Dec-17 11:31:00

Not necessarily an other woman.
I have left a relationship before now because I got fed up of things not changing, being put down in front of friends, not knowing what sort of reaction I was going to get when I walked through the front door and then spend the evening on eggshells. I got fed up of money being wasted on tat when we were supposedly trying to save.
I had tried to address these issues but to no avail. I became resentful and one day couldn't bare the thought that was going to be the rest of my life.DP at the time begged me to stay and cried and pleaded saying they would change. The scales fell from my eyes and they looke pathetic. Best move I made.
Point is, don't assume it's another relationship ( although it could be)

itsalottery Sun 03-Dec-17 11:37:49

Lots of us lose our dignity and do this sometimes, don't beat yourself up over it. I think it depends how he reacts over the next couple of days and what his reasons were for wanting to end it. There is a possibility you will both realise you don't want to lose each other. If on the other hand he repeats his intention to leave then make sure you don't repeat the begging thing to regain your sense of self.

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