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It's over

(11 Posts)
Ermyeah Sat 02-Dec-17 09:57:35

We've broken up, I'm not devastated but I am so sad.
My heart hurts, it's not the plans we had I'll miss, it's the fact that he won't be in my future, I'll miss hearing from him daily. I don't think he's sad.
I keep hoping some time apart will make him change his mind on wanting children and a future which is why I broke up with him. I know this is the real world though and that won't happen.
It's a dull ache right now, I'm not sure what to do. I feel lost.

loveyoutothemoon Sat 02-Dec-17 10:10:02

Be strong, it definitely sounds like it's for the best and that you can also see that.

Don't bank on him changing his mind, that's unlikely to happen, carry on being brave and keep busy with your friends. It will pass and soon you'll see clearly that it was 100% the right decision. flowers

Doubletrouble42 Sat 02-Dec-17 10:13:42

You may not believe it now but you will not feel like this forever. You don't know what life holds for you. When my DD1s dad walked out when she was small I thought my life was over. Actually it started a chain of events ( house move, new town, new job, new school, new friends for us both) that before long led to our lives being far better in every sense than I had ever dreamed they would be. Wishing you the best xx

EllenRipley Sat 02-Dec-17 10:29:55

It's a weak platitude but honestly, hang in there. It will get better. You've followed your instincts and you'll get to a point where they'll kick in again and you can start to make a better life for yourself. This bit is the hardest but life moves forward and your feelings will change. Xx

Ermyeah Sat 02-Dec-17 10:49:13

Thank you all, I'm in the stage where I can't stop my eyes tearing up, so I'll be in for the day.
I really do hope this turns out to be the best thing I've ever done, I wish there was a reason to be angry and hate him, I'd find it easier that way.
He isn't going to change his mind, or he would have already, and my life will move on past this.
Thank you all.

Ermyeah Sat 02-Dec-17 11:37:27

To make my day even better, a man in work who has asked me out recently, who when I said no said maybe if things change, has just tried to add me on Facebook.
I've declined his request, but it's made me feel worse, why can't the man I want to want a future with me want it?

loveyoutothemoon Sat 02-Dec-17 12:48:18

Get your head around the split first before entertaining any man.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Sat 02-Dec-17 12:49:29

I'm very sorry, Ermyeah, I know it hurts.

Be wary that he doesn't get back in touch telling you that he's changed his mind because unless having children is something that he actively wants to do, he could mess you around for even longer and that would be very cruel. Even if it's unintentional and he intends to change his mind, when it comes down to it, he may put it off again - or worse still, have children with you and resent them - and you. That's no future.

At the moment you feel as if everything's given way under your feet and you don't know what your future is going to hold... but you do know that you want children and you've found out that your partner doesn't so you're now free to find somebody else who wants what you want. When you're ready though and not before.

Everything in its time and place, Ermyeah, for now just deal with this as you have to and know that it isn't always going to hurt like this. One day you'll be very glad that you make this brave break.

Ellisandra Sat 02-Dec-17 12:52:31

Whilst I agree that you need to sort your head out before dating again, personally I'd accept that friend request!

You already told him maybe yes if your situation changes, so you must be interested in him.

You were being sarcastic about it making your day better - but actually, why doesn't it? A man you like sends you a request - nice little confidence boost with good timing.

Ermyeah Sat 02-Dec-17 12:54:23

Love you, I'm not going to entertain this other man, it's more frustrating that the man I don't want, wants me the man I do, doesn't, well he does but he doesn't want what I want.

I truly hope one day I will be glad I've made this break, it seems to be hurting more as the day goes on. Telling myself I've made the right choice is helping though.

Ermyeah Sat 02-Dec-17 17:52:48

I've spent most of the day texting him like we usually would, I was determined not to do this it almost feels as though nothing has changed. How do I break the contact? I would hate to suddenly stop texting back.

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