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How do i fix this?

(5 Posts)
woodenmouse Fri 01-Dec-17 17:30:45

I'll try and keep this short but I also don't want to drip feed. H and I have just bought a house that needs a shit load of work, we don't have a massive budget but it should be doable. Anyway my uncle who is a builder offered to do some work for free in his spare time. Of course we were extremely grateful as the things he's offered to do will save us a fair bit. My DF has offered to help out (act as a labourer etc). They were going to do a few bits tomorrow. H rung DF this morning to ask what time he would be round as H has to work but wanted to get the room cleared before they come round. DF tells H what time and mentions DM is unwell (ongoing MH problems). H mentions this to me after phone call and I ring DF to say not to worry about coming and to look after DM. DF didn't answer so I left a voicemail. While I was on the phone H went in the other room and unknown to me phoned uncle. He then came back and said "uncle has cancelled". That's all he said. I was a bit annoyed as we are living in a building site and need things done but because the work is free I thought fair enough Uncle needs to cancel so we can reschedule. I then said to H maybe we should pay someone to do the biggest job so uncle hasn't got so much to do. H agreed. So I looked online for builders and also (stupidity) posted on local facebook site asking can anyone recommended a builder to do xyz. I should say if we paid uncle to do it in a professional capacity he wouldn't be able to do it for months as he's booked up. A few hours later I got a message from aunt saying "you ungrateful cow, how dare you tell everyone uncle has let you down, he is helping you out and you're being a brat". I replied saying "sorry its coming across that way but actually I was just trying to make less work fir uncle". In that time I get a txt from DF saying he will still come and help. So I txt H who has now gone to work and say its a shame uncle had to cancel as DF could help. H txt's back saying "oh uncle didn't cancel I til him not to bother coming". I've tried to ring uncle to smooth this over but he hasn't answered. I have a family party on Sunday which I'm now dreading. I also have depression and anxiety and so does aunt so that's probably making it worse. How do I fix this without making it worse and causing a family fallout?

woodenmouse Fri 01-Dec-17 17:31:51

Sorry for massive post

Huskylover1 Fri 01-Dec-17 17:35:41

Why on earth did your H tell Uncle not to bother, but tell you that the Uncle had cancelled? That makes no sense!

woodenmouse Fri 01-Dec-17 17:39:21

H is shit at communicating. We've had many arguments because he doesn't fully explain himself. When I asked him why he had told me uncle had cancelled he said "well I said DF couldn't make it so its probably best not to bother and uncle agreed so he basically cancelled". he always does shit like this.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Fri 01-Dec-17 18:54:07

I was wondering about why H said this too, and I would be concerned he wasn't too happy with uncle doing the work, but has not discussed it. Either way HE has caused this trouble for you, and I think he should be trying to fix it, not you...

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