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Back to the drawing board (Advice)

(5 Posts)
Letdownlover Fri 01-Dec-17 10:51:26

As i sit here with tears rolling down my cheeks i ask myself where did it all go wrong.

Im afraid , panicked , confused and deverstated all at the same time.

Its the morning after my OH broke the news to me that she no longer wants to be with me ... its come as a shock and totally unexpected we have been together for nearly 6 years and im heartbroken shes 27 and im 31.

We have always got along and i would say for the most part (everyone has there ups and downs) we have been really happy.

She said that she no longer feels the excitement she once did in our relationship and that she is confused , she said she still loves me and cannot see her life without me and im everything she could of ever hoped for but something inside her is saying that there is still something missing but she dont no what.

Im not going to try and talk her round or force it what will be will be only she can make her mind up.

Im now at the biggest crossroads of my life and i need advice , the current situation i now find myself in is im staying at her mums house with her ... we were in the process of saving up for a morgage so i moved in with her to cut down on costs and moved far away from my family to do so ... i now find myself with no where to go ... my parents divorced last year , my mum has moved far away with her new partner leaving my dad in the house i grew up in but i cannot go back there because he has a bad drink problem and thats was another reason i left because it became volatile between us.

Im now 31 and i ask myself ... why i am where i am at this stage in my life , well prev to this relationship i was in another relationship that lasted 5 years we were also saving for a house ... i caught her cheating ... it ended.

So from the age of 20 i have been in a relationship trying to build a future , get my own house , get married and have kids and now im back at square one i fill like i have wasted 10 years of my life.

My only option now is to rent i have enuff savings to get a place but i only have so much ... the rent in my area for a 1 bedroom flat is nearly 1000 a month ... im in a steady job but once my savings run out (i dnt want to lose my savings) it will be a real struggle for me but i dnt wanna house share either.

Im really struggling to come to terms with whats just happened dnd i hope there is light at the end of the tunnel but right now its a pitch black hole ... im currently going to be slerping downstairs on the sofa untill i can make other arrangements ... but atleast we have ended on good terms.

Please give me the strenght i need to get throu this.


Queenofthedrivensnow Fri 01-Dec-17 11:12:50

Can't read and run. Make some plans and give yourself a chance to recover. What rl suppprt do you have?

Letdownlover Fri 01-Dec-17 11:17:31

Hi queen i have no idea what rl means im new here and still learning the lingo.

I no its so fresh atm i just need time.

Annelind Fri 01-Dec-17 11:25:37

At 31 you are still so young! take time to make plans. You haven't wasted 10 years of your life - you have had good relationships which sadly ended. Plenty of time yet for meeting someone else! I recognise this is the last thing on your mind atm, and you should certainly not jump in to a new relationship for some time.

I think it's well worth considering a houseshare temporarily, rather than sofa surfing in your newly ex's parent's house.

Letdownlover Fri 01-Dec-17 11:35:54

Thanx anna ... i do need a long break from the relationship train and i have no plans to sofa surf ... i really want my own place now ... the thort of a house share does intrest me and i suppose you get to meet new people but there are also alot a people out there that you dont want to meet 😕

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