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Need advice about my life before i go kookoo

(12 Posts)
Trappedfreespirit Fri 01-Dec-17 08:00:52

12 months ago i caught my boyfriend cheating, he was arranging 3somes and was on lots of sexual dating websites with pictures of himself and his private parts on these profiles aswell. At the time I was in and out of hospital having tests and a needle in my womb (which could have resulted in misscariage and i was a complete wreck) because they thought there was something wrong with the baby, then he did this to me! But as he was my only source of income i forgave him. We moved on and had the baby he is healthy and now 7 months old.
My boyfriend has been selfish, bad tempered and unhelpful a lot during the last 7 months, now i have a broken ankle so he has been HAVING to do more and boy do i know about it. But the broken ankle was a result of him pushing me over during an argument about me going out to see my best friend and comeing home late (11pm). He goes to football every week while i stay home with the kids but im not allowed to go out and leave him with the kids (we also have a 5 year old, my boy from previous relationship, who i feel is a burden to my boyfriend he doesnt speak to him nice and has little patience with him for his age).
Everyday i am in turmoil because i want to be free of him but sometimes he is nice and remember why i fell in love but its not enough. I want to be free of him but i love his mother she is fantatsic with me and my kids, and the big one, i couldn't afford to live alone with the children i do not work as i care full time for my disabled grandfather aswell as my 7 month old son.
I have been self harming to cope with the pressure and pain i am feeling, everyday is a struggle and i have thought about suicide but my children stop me as i love them so much i just want to be free and have a fresh start on my own with my kids. But if i leave him i will lose the house, all my furnature, i will have NO money and lots of debt, i took out credit cards and loans because his credit score is abismal so owe over £1500 in my name and no way to pay it back without him. What the hell do i do? Please help.

ShatnersWig Fri 01-Dec-17 08:06:53

You don't stay with someone who treats you like shit because they are your source of income.

Does your disabled grandfather live with you, your two children and this wanker?

ShatnersWig Fri 01-Dec-17 08:07:38

Look at this website then call them. They will help www.womensaid.org.uk/

Iamok0303 Fri 01-Dec-17 08:10:09

First of all, you matter. All of the above can be mended. You sound so overwhelmed and you posting on here means you have had enough and now feel it’s time to do something. Your partner sounds selfish. He is draining you of your resources. Is this his apartment? Or are you renting it together?

Trappedfreespirit Fri 01-Dec-17 08:13:12

No he lives with ny brother and his wife and kids but they dont have time to care for him they work full time, so i am the only one in the family that can and will do it. I know if someone told me what ive just written i would be like "get out of there you dohnut you can't stay for that reason". But honestly i can't be homeless with 2 children, there are no council houses in my area, the estate agents dont accept dss (ive looked into it) and the rent at my current house is too high for me on my own xx

ShatnersWig Fri 01-Dec-17 08:19:06

Please look at the website link and give them a call. They will help you and give you advice.

springydaffs Fri 01-Dec-17 09:00:15

Yes talk to Women's Aid. Also Shelter.

Call 101 about the broken ankle, speak to dv unit. Report all violence to them. Xx

GreatStar Fri 01-Dec-17 12:10:38

Get out
Stay out
And get a check up to make sure he hasnt passed on an sti
All the things you see as problems can be sorted ... debt, housing, finances etc
But what CANNOT and WILL NOT get sorted EVER is this mans treatment of you.
Get out.
Its going to get worse if you stay
Call womans aid today for advice and take that first step xx

GreatStar Fri 01-Dec-17 12:12:50

Just re read how he treats your older child.
Dont let this continue please.
Your grandfather ..... could you stay with him temporarily?

Tinselistacky Fri 01-Dec-17 12:16:48

The council can help you with private rented.They will have a list of accredited landlords, if you go with one of those they can also loan you the deposit and bond. Your dc deserve much more. If your ds finds your body from self harming gone wrong is that better than living without a man who clearly doesn't give a fuck about him?

letsdolunch321 Fri 01-Dec-17 12:17:01

There is help available to women like you especially being pregnant. My daughter was in a similair situation please call the links people have posted.

RagingFemininist Fri 01-Dec-17 12:22:06

He is abusive and violent (as proven by your broken ankle)
Please, you need to get organise to get out of there.

I get that money is scary but until when are you going to say it’s ok? when he has sent you to hops with major injuries? When he will ostracise you so much you don’t have any friends anymore?
When he has started to hit your dcs or your ur dcs will have been witness to his violence and have learnt that this is an ok way to treat women/mummy?

Please contact WA, CAB etc... get as much info as you can and GET OUT.

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