12 months ago i caught my boyfriend cheating, he was arranging 3somes and was on lots of sexual dating websites with pictures of himself and his private parts on these profiles aswell. At the time I was in and out of hospital having tests and a needle in my womb (which could have resulted in misscariage and i was a complete wreck) because they thought there was something wrong with the baby, then he did this to me! But as he was my only source of income i forgave him. We moved on and had the baby he is healthy and now 7 months old.
My boyfriend has been selfish, bad tempered and unhelpful a lot during the last 7 months, now i have a broken ankle so he has been HAVING to do more and boy do i know about it. But the broken ankle was a result of him pushing me over during an argument about me going out to see my best friend and comeing home late (11pm). He goes to football every week while i stay home with the kids but im not allowed to go out and leave him with the kids (we also have a 5 year old, my boy from previous relationship, who i feel is a burden to my boyfriend he doesnt speak to him nice and has little patience with him for his age).
Everyday i am in turmoil because i want to be free of him but sometimes he is nice and remember why i fell in love but its not enough. I want to be free of him but i love his mother she is fantatsic with me and my kids, and the big one, i couldn't afford to live alone with the children i do not work as i care full time for my disabled grandfather aswell as my 7 month old son.
I have been self harming to cope with the pressure and pain i am feeling, everyday is a struggle and i have thought about suicide but my children stop me as i love them so much i just want to be free and have a fresh start on my own with my kids. But if i leave him i will lose the house, all my furnature, i will have NO money and lots of debt, i took out credit cards and loans because his credit score is abismal so owe over £1500 in my name and no way to pay it back without him. What the hell do i do? Please help.
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Need advice about my life before i go kookoo
11 replies
Trappedfreespirit · 01/12/2017 08:00
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