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AIBU to think my husband is a rude inconsiderate arsehole

(73 Posts)
poppy54321 Thu 30-Nov-17 23:22:36

He goes out without saying that he is going. I realise after a while of putting kids to bed that he is out. Doesn’t answer his phone. Now been out over 2 hours. I’m fed up of it, he does it often.

Teensandfuture Thu 30-Nov-17 23:24:13

Do you know where he goes? Is it a pub or OW?

Butterymuffin Thu 30-Nov-17 23:24:16

Bolt the door and go to bed.

queenofthesheds Thu 30-Nov-17 23:26:35

Have you got “find my iPhone”? Get that added on his phone, then keep doing “play noise.”

Justgivemesomepeace Thu 30-Nov-17 23:26:55

Mine does this. Just goes out and doesn't say. I'd bloody love to do that. Usually he's popped to Tesco or something. He can't understand you say bye to people when you leave the house. He does tend to answer his phone though.

poppy54321 Thu 30-Nov-17 23:27:31

He says pub.

elephantoverthehill Thu 30-Nov-17 23:28:29

Does he say 'Hello' when he comes in, Op?

Originalfoogirl Thu 30-Nov-17 23:30:57

“Get that added on his phone, then keep doing “play noise.”

Mr Foo and I have this. I never thought of doing the play noise thing as a trick! What fun!

poppy54321 Thu 30-Nov-17 23:31:01

It’s so weird justgive. I still can’t decide if this isn’t rude for everyone, especially later at night. It is rude to me.

poppy54321 Thu 30-Nov-17 23:31:46

Love the play noise idea. That way you aren’t sneaking around about it.

queenofthesheds Thu 30-Nov-17 23:31:48

I think popping down the pub with the kids one night might be just the thing. A full on screaming ranting fit complete with firm promises of repeat performances if he pulls this shit again.

poppy54321 Thu 30-Nov-17 23:32:28

No he doesn’t say hello. Sounds ominous doesn’t it?

queenofthesheds Thu 30-Nov-17 23:32:48

Rude? It’s awful! So unfair! What if you just fucked off without warning and came back pissed???

poppy54321 Thu 30-Nov-17 23:33:45

Thank you queen so sounds like he is rude and inconsiderate at the least?

WhyFy Thu 30-Nov-17 23:34:02

Tomorrow evening, could you just "pop out" for a few hours? Leave him with the kids and turn your phone off?

If not - why not? Why is it okay for him tons this and not you?

Have you told him it's inconsiderate? How does he justify it to you?

Monty27 Thu 30-Nov-17 23:34:37

Arrogant and selfish.

queenofthesheds Thu 30-Nov-17 23:35:21

Yes!!! You have a right to know where he is, who is solely responsible for the kids, and a bit of common courtesy. Seriously what would he do if you did this?

Acrosstheuniverse123 Thu 30-Nov-17 23:38:10

I honestly can’t believe you put up with this. I’m speechless. It’s so so out of order.

SandAndSea Thu 30-Nov-17 23:39:18

I think it's weird and rude.

My dp did it to me when we were first together because he forgot I was there - he was so used to just thinking about himself! grin He got out of it quite quickly though.

I think it's disrespectful if done regularly, like your needs and wishes are of no consequence. It's potentially embarrassing too, say, if someone rings for him and you don't know he's gone out. I'd also worry about safety - if there was a fire, would you send a fire fighter in to look for him on the off-chance? It's just wrong on all levels.

notapizzaeater Thu 30-Nov-17 23:39:46

Wow, I’d not have a problem with the going out but the way he does it is wrong

elephantoverthehill Thu 30-Nov-17 23:39:47

Poppy I asked the 'hello' question because what you are describing are indications of either 'Aspergers' or ' Autisim'. Sorry if this has come as a shock.

SlowlyShrinking Thu 30-Nov-17 23:43:42

The problem with the op popping out is what if her H also pops out without checking shortly afterwards? Then the kids end up on their own.
But yes op, he is a rude inconsiderate arsehole. Ltb?

queenofthesheds Thu 30-Nov-17 23:43:58

Elephantoverthehill I think you’re assuming that OPs husband simply lacks theory of mind whereas it’s perfectly possible he’s just a massive bastard.

poppy54321 Thu 30-Nov-17 23:43:59

Ooohhhhhh elephant. I hadn’t linked the two but I had thought he may be on the spectrum before. Never heard of the hello thing.

queenofthesheds Thu 30-Nov-17 23:44:31

Slowlyshrinking that’s a good point.

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