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Advice to help my friend/ controlling bf

(3 Posts)
gillybeanz Thu 30-Nov-17 21:05:00

Hello, hope some of you can help me.
Fortunate as I am not to have known abusive or controlling behaviour, was looking for help.

My 19 year old work colleague didn't want to go home due to her bf starting an argument, she's happy at work.
He doesn't like her friends, has told her to give up college and get a full time job and told her she's not to have driving lessons, she was going to work overtime to afford this.

I know little about their relationship but this doesn't seem right.
What sort of red flags should she look for?
He is about 26/7 so quite a bit older than her.

She can't go back to her parents and when she told me she had nowhere to go I offered her a bed settee at our house, it's all I could think of.
I'm pretty sure she'll not take me up on the offer, but what can I advise her to do, and what to look out for, more red flags.

I know I'm not responsible for her, but I couldn't leave somebody with nowhere to go, I have children older than her and know what they were like at 19.

TempusEejit Thu 30-Nov-17 21:48:02

Having been with a controlling ex I couldn't see it at the time whilst I was in that situation, although if I'd read it here on mumsnet I'd have seen as clear as day that I was in an abusive relationship. She needs to come to the realisation I think all you can do is make it clear (either implicitly or explicitly) that she can come to you for support (assuming you want to) and maybe give her little nudges about the wrongness of it all every time she mentions something. Hopefully someone else on this thread might have some more advice.

gillybeanz Thu 30-Nov-17 22:42:53

Oh thank you.
That makes sense.
She contacted me to ask if she could come round and I said of course she was welcome.
She didn't come as nowhere to house her pets.
Is this an excuse to stay, or coincidentally stopping her from leaving.

I told her to come visit tomorrow as we are both free during the day.

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