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I've just had enough of how things are but can't see things ever changing

(7 Posts)
AnnaAlyce Thu 30-Nov-17 16:29:50

I've had enough of being expected to do everything in the house, alongside running my own small business and earning a wage from it, keeping the house like a sodding show home as DH likes it to be tidy, and clearing up everyone's fucking mess. No one else in this house ever puts an item of rubbish in the bin, ever. Every morning once I've dropped the kids at school it takes me between 2 and 3 hours to clear up everyone's mess. DH doesn't think he should do anything as he works, yet I work too and am certainly expected to earn a wage but all of this is expected of me too.

The kids (age 6 and 8) had friends over at the weekend and both just totally trashed their bedrooms. DH has moaned at me since the weekend that their rooms are untidy but I've been so fucking busy I haven't had a chance to sort it.

We have three dogs that DH chose to get, that I have to clean up and look after too.

Oh and I have in the past 18 months been diagnosed with three mental health illnesses that make it very hard for me to do things or even get myself fucking dressed at times. I get no understanding or support from DH over these illnesses, he just moans if things aren't tidy or if I'm struggling.

I've had enough.

hellsbellsmelons Thu 30-Nov-17 16:39:47

Well then stop letting him dictate to you that he likes things a certain way.
You do things to your level.
If he wants it done better then he fucking well do it himself.
How on earth did you fall into this?
Stop now.
Your DC are old enough to put rubbish in a bin and tidy their rooms.
So why don't they?
Because they are following their disrespectful dads example, that's why.
Before they go to bed they put their rubbish in a bin and put toys away.
If they don't then toys get put into bin bags and thrown out.
They will soon learn to put things away they want to keep.
You need to lay down the law.
Big girl pants, time for a family meeting!!!

Thebluedog Thu 30-Nov-17 16:45:49

Stop now! If he wants a clean house then he helps. 50/50 if you’re working too. As for the dc, get them to help out and pull their weight.

You’re enabling everyone in the house to treat you like a skivvy.

RatherBeRiding Thu 30-Nov-17 16:48:16

Must agree with hellsbells - how did you allow it get to this stage?

He wants a show home - he does show home standards himself.
He works - you work.
He wanted dogs - he clears up after dogs.

You are treated like a skivvy because you allow it. Time to draw a line in the sand OP

AnnaAlyce Thu 30-Nov-17 16:49:01

I have no fight left in me, probably due to my mental health conditions.

billybagpuss Thu 30-Nov-17 16:59:41

Has your GP given you a councillor?

You desperately need to be able to talk to DP about this but I totally get the not having any fight left, you need to talk it over with someone about how to proceed and helping you to find the strength to do it.

I think you need some space, is there anywhere you can go for a couple of days and any way it could be child free. Don't worry about the fall out with DP, he needs to learn that the home and kids belong to both of you and he needs to start pulling his weight.

wishing you all the luck xx

PoorYorick Thu 30-Nov-17 23:21:33

What mental health conditions are they? Are they by any chance a response to your surroundings? I would certainly get reactive depression if I had a husband like that. What a dicksplash.

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