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Help me chose and Engagement Ring?

(139 Posts)
MadAboutYou Thu 30-Nov-17 11:25:14

I am planning on proposing to my GF on Christmas Eve (which is sort of our anniversary although my brother told me this is tacky, so maybe you can help on that too)

I want to get her a ring but I have a shamefully small budget of around £250-300. She has said before she wouldn't be bothered about a ring but I think it would be nice for her to have something.

She doesn't like diamonds as she thinks they are exploitative so I have been googling alternatives but I have no idea what to pick.

When my twin brother got engaged last year he got his gf a ruby and diamond ring and she had said she thought the coloured stone was really nice, so maybe I would get her something like that?

If i take her with me to buy something she will just feel guilty about the money so I really want to surprise her, even though that might also be a bad idea.


happypoobum Thu 30-Nov-17 11:30:07

What is her birth stone? If you aren't sure, what month is her birthday?

MadAboutYou Thu 30-Nov-17 11:31:48

Her birthday is November and mine is October

rosareine Thu 30-Nov-17 11:34:02

Maybe something like these:

LadyFuchsiaGroan Thu 30-Nov-17 11:36:04

Birth stone for November is Topaz. I work in a jewellers. It may be worth popping into a few different jewellers, comparing prices and always worth asking for discount.

happypoobum Thu 30-Nov-17 11:36:58

Have a look at these....... agree with lady to hit the shops

silkpyjamasallday Thu 30-Nov-17 11:37:17

Novembers birthstone is topaz (or citrine according to google), which you can get in a variety of colours, and isn't a pricey stone in comparison to diamonds. Does she wear gold or silver jewellery usually? You should be able to find something gorgeous in budget quite easily, even just typing topaz gold ring into eBay brings up lots of nice ones well within your budget.

Toddlerteaplease Thu 30-Nov-17 11:37:46

Aww you sound lovely. Hope she says yes.

MadAboutYou Thu 30-Nov-17 11:39:17

Can i also ask a stuoid question about the little claws that hold the stone? My gf wears surgical gloves at work, would the prong parts be ok do you think? is there a way to get a smooth sort of top on it? Aware I sound very stupid, sorry! thanks so much for the help though!

Is Christmas Eve ok for a proposal?

ZeroFeedback Thu 30-Nov-17 11:44:57

Most precious stones and metals have carry a risk of exploitation and criminal activity - make sure you understand whether she includes all 'blood' jewellery or just diamonds.

I know someone who will not buy a smartphone because of the horror stories behind the mining and refining of some of the metals and compounds needed to build them (he is a very special case though)

There are lab grown artificial diamond and ethical gold rings available but they can be expensive (think about the £1k mark and up)

What about not getting an engagement ring and agreeing between you to use the money you have to buy a quality, ethical gold wedding ring?

This would show you respect her beliefs in general, not just about diamonds but the reasons why she has an issue with some aspects of the precious mineral market.

You could then agree that, as and when you can both afford it, you can use a future anniversary (10th, 15th, 25th) to invest in a high quality ethical engagement/eternity ring. Kind of like an acknowledgement that you would get her one now if only you could afford it, but plan to be around long enough to put that right

hellsbellsmelons Thu 30-Nov-17 11:45:50

That might catch but it would depends how tight the gloves are.
Some lovely ones in happypoo link.
A blue topaz is lovely.
Small budget is fine.
My engagement ring cost £225 and the amount of comments I got on how nice it is etc.... was lovely.
I hope the proposal goes well.
Nothing wrong with proposing on Christmas eve.
Just don't make the ring the only 'present' you get her!

TheNaze73 Thu 30-Nov-17 11:46:57

Nothing to add other than good luck flowers

ZeroFeedback Thu 30-Nov-17 11:47:02

Can i also ask a stuoid question about the little claws that hold the stone? My gf wears surgical gloves at work, would the prong parts be ok do you think? is there a way to get a smooth sort of top on it? Aware I sound very stupid, sorry! thanks so much for the help though!

My DW works in the medical field and cannot wear any jewellery like engagement rings like that for that reason.

It means she hardly ever wears hers.

Orlandointhewilderness Thu 30-Nov-17 11:47:44

personally i love these...

KanyeWesticle Thu 30-Nov-17 11:52:22

Any low profile ring would be fine to wear with gloves. You could get a bezel set stone (framed stone) rather than a pronged setting.

There would be some lovely options for vintage, coloured stone rings, within your budget. They can be resized if you don't know her size. I have a sapphire solitaire engagement ring DH chose - I love it. You don't have to go with her birthstone, I'm glad DH didn't and instead chose a colour that goes with what I wear (and reminded him of my eyes - awww!)

If you do want clear, moissanite is a lovely diamond alternative and much cheaper.

Christmas eve is a lovely idea!

TheStifmeister Thu 30-Nov-17 11:52:23

you can get bezel set stones so they dont catch but she might not be allowed to wear a ring at work?

MadAboutYou Thu 30-Nov-17 11:52:28

I already bought her christmas present (she knows what it is) so I'm hoping to really surprise her and have been siffoning a little out of my wages each month that she thinks I have just been using for lunches and occasional nights with pals, so i'm really excited to get her something, but we had to replace the washing machine last month so my funds got a bit dented.

Like the idea of us getting her a nicer ring on our 10 year anniversary or if we had a baby or something in the future, but also just really excited for her to have something now so it feels like a proper engagement if that makes sense. I mean when my brother did it the first thing everyone asked was about the ring so I don't want to look like a crap bf.

I hadn't thought about the ethics of the other stones, but maybe I will try and suss her out.

She only wears a watch at the minute and it has a leather strap, and she has a silver coloured bracelet from when she graduated and a little gold locket that came from her granny, but she only wears it on family occasions iykwim, like weddings and christenings and things she thinks her granny is missing out on.

Orchid93 Thu 30-Nov-17 11:52:56

This company has great prices for genuine gemstones. In regards to the Christmas Eve proposal I think it's lovely. I would also like to say that I don't find your budget "shamefully small".

MakeMisogynyAHateCrime Thu 30-Nov-17 11:55:43

I couldn't wear my engagement ring when I worked in a job using gloves.

What about

Does she like dainty jeweller or chunkier? Is she a gold or silver fan? Does she like modern jeweller or does she prefer classic? Would she go for antique or vintage?

KanyeWesticle Thu 30-Nov-17 11:58:29

mindutopia Thu 30-Nov-17 11:58:44

I have a green tourmaline in my engagement ring. I was the same, I didn't want a diamond on principle. Also, when we got engaged, we were both students and we took the money that would have been spent on a ring and travelled for two months and went to gem markets on our travels and found a stone to have a ring make from. So it's both not a diamond and also of sentimental value.

I don't know if this is a popular opinion, but personally I would ask your partner if there is a ring she particularly likes that she can show you or if she would want to come shopping with you. You need to get past the whole 'surprise' thing and also your concerns about her not wanting to spend money. This is something she will wear for the rest of her life. Don't get her something she hates. If she wants something fairly non-traditional (not a diamond ring), then get her involved in choosing it and make sure you're spending what money you do have to spend on something she loves. Don't just take advice from the internet.

I have a really unique ring that I love and people comment on it all the time, but I would have hated if my husband had just tried to guess and pick something. If you talk with her about it and she does truly want to be surprised and wants you to pick it and wants to not be involved at all, fine. But I would want to know that before you get something she is stuck with but doesn't love.

Mooey89 Thu 30-Nov-17 11:58:47

Mine is a morganite and I love it!
I didn’t want a diamond as exploitative and expensive, my morganite is perfect.

Mine was more expensive I think but there are so many beautiful ones in your budget

MakeMisogynyAHateCrime Thu 30-Nov-17 11:58:52

HistoryMad Thu 30-Nov-17 11:59:02

Have you looked at any online that you think she might like? Maybe provide us with some links so we can help you choose?

Also, it is worthwhile making a trip to your local jewllers. I popped into a beaverbrooks jewelers store and the lady was super super helpful. I would try them first, and then F Hinds (H S Samuel were awful)

NC4now Thu 30-Nov-17 12:02:28

My husband bought me a gorgeous pearl ring for a milestone birthday last year which was around your budget. I love it so much I sometimes swap it for my engagement ring as it sits really nicely.
Maybe look at pearls?

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