Anyone else here whose dh hates Christmas including family gathering and New Years Eve?

[Snafu1988]

How do you cope?

[user1497997754]

I don't because I hate it to ....never used to but it gets all to much and you just find yourself running round in circles trying to please everyone and land up pleasing no one including yourself

[Snafu1988]

Oh, I see... and your dh hates it too??? In this case you are the perfect match.

[Appuskidu]

My DH is the same. I try to just ignore him as much as I can. I love Christmas!!

[DrDreReturns]

I hate it, as does my wife. We just don't see anyone over Christmas. Problem solved!

[ShatnersWig]

Why did you marry him if you have such different views on the festive season? Or has he changed?

[Shoxfordian]

What does he hate about it? Has he always been like this?

[GertrudeCB]

Cope how? My dh isn't keen on Xmas but keeps his thoughts to himself and doesn't put a downer on it for anyone else.

[MartysHere]

Suggesting you shouldn't marry someone because you have different views about Christmas?

Absolute things you only hear on mumsnet gold!

[ShatnersWig]

Martys I'm assuming that as the OP has bothered to post about it here, clearly she is very unhappy about the way her DH thinks of Christmas and the New Year and having family round. Otherwise why bother?

But if I was someone who absolutely adored big Xmases, I'd probably not marry someone who hated it. That could be 20, 30, 40 years of lousy Xmases. And if you have kids, they end up with a shit Xmas too?

[fantasmasgoria1]

Marty’s lol totally agree! Can’t just not marry someone because their views about some things differ! Is that just not part of a relationship? You are never going to agree on everything!

[Allwashedup]

Other way round here. I hate it, he loves it.

[Snafu1988]

He did not use to hate it as much as he does and I did not use to like it as much as I do now. Before we had children I did not really care much about Christmas.
Why does he hate it? Several reasons. He is short of hearing (btw we aren’t old) and it is difficult to understand something when everybody talks and there is music.
He sees his family there and I think he thinks he disappointed them which he has not but he thinks they are all cooler then him. Why? Because he used to hold the same job like his father and brothers but had to leave because of health problems.
He cannot stand the fact NewYears Eve is noisy (hears that despite being short of hearing).

[Zaphodsotherhead]

My OH hates Christmas. Says 'why should I like it? I'm not a child...' whereupon I point out that I and my kids (none of whom are children, now) all love Christmas, that he gets big meals, lots of booze, to sit in front of the TV and not move with everything done for him, plus presents, so what's not to like?

He did concede that his POV was a bit daft after that. But he does grump about everything generally.

[user1497997754]

My DH does love it and I do make a huge effort for everyone but it is never reciprocated so that's why I hate it....tree up tho lol....well you have to try lol

[Olddear]

Oh user!! not only have you put your tree up already, you're a DM reader into the bargain! You'll be getting drummed out of MN.

[Snafu1988]

@Zaphodsotherhead: he does not want any presents or anything. He just wants to sit around and feel sorry for himself.

Before last NewYears Eve he was hiding in his room playing video games 24/7 and we had family over but he did not come out.

It sucks.

[itsgoodtobehome]

My DH is not massively keen on Christmas, but I am, so he kind of humours me and let's me get on with it. He likes cooking though, so as long as I arrange the food shopping, he is happy to shut himself in the kitchen for a while on Christmas Day while I drink champagne with whoever we have round. If it was up to him, we wouldn't make a big deal about Christmas, but he does it for me, and I also compromise by not going over-board with everything.
We both hate NYE so we shut ourselves away together!!

[Zaphodsotherhead]

But Snafu, what is there to feel sorry for himself about? Is he generally an unsociable bod who doesn't like having to talk to people? Because, if you aren't religious and don't want presents, it's really just a day with a bigger dinner than normal, isn't it?

[gamerchick]

Mine does because he works for DPD, I always end up having a stern word with him about the bitching

It isn’t ideal OP but maybe just leave him out and let him do his own thing. It does nothing for the bond and intimacy as a couple though when they’re allowed to opt out

[Snafu1988]

I think he feels sorry for himself because he is short of hearing and because he thinks everybody in his family is cooler than him (see above) and he is dreading the fireworks because they startle him and he talks himself into believing he cannot cope with them, he has got mental health issues... he is however not completely nuts... if he was completely nuts I would be gentle with him... but he is actually quite sane... works in a responsible position, people who do not know him do not even notice he has mental health issues... and he can cope with the fireworks. He does not freak out.

He used to be very social but this has changed because he now likes feeling sorry for himself better.

[Myheartbelongsto]

I absolutely hate Christmas.

The only things I like about it are the time of work and seeing the look on my children's faces.

I don't ruin it for others though.

[Snafu1988]

@gamerchick: he always opts out. He cannot do crowds very well because he fears them, they are his worst fear and he opts out a lot and I think we never do anything fun together just watching TV.

[Snafu1988]

@Myheartbelongsto: why does he hate it?

[mickhucknallspinkpancakes]

Just have a quiet family Christmas with no visitors then? And agree to disagree on NYE?

Or he could get a hearing aid?