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BF shared a picture of him and his ex. Weird or normal?

(158 Posts)
NonplussedwithFB Tue 28-Nov-17 15:33:07

DP and I have been very dodgy lately for various reasons and I'm hormonal so I don't really trust my judgement. It's about shitty FB too so look away now if you hate it.

This morning he has shared a post from that timehop thing. The post is a picture of him and his long term ex (no kids, not married but together over a decade) from 8 years ago. They broke up 6 years ago.

We've been together 2. His family don't seem to like me very much and his mum still has pictures up of his ex, so I'm very sensitive. Do you think it's weird that he's shared it? He's friends with her on there so she will have seen it. As will all his family. As yet nobody has liked it. WIBU to put a 'love' on it hmm sarcastically!

NonplussedwithFB Tue 28-Nov-17 15:34:04

(I'm joking about the 'love' btw!)

hellsbellsmelons Tue 28-Nov-17 15:35:38

I wouldn't like that at all.
I'd find it pretty disrespectful!!!

Finola1step Tue 28-Nov-17 15:37:30

It is a bit odd. Are the exs that have become very good, platonic friends?.

fantasmasgoria1 Tue 28-Nov-17 15:37:42

To me that does seem a bit weird! I found a few things recently that my dp had forgotten about but instantly removed. Also my dp was friends with his ex and asked me if I minded. I said no but as things became very serious he unfriendly her. I think you should speak to him about this and tell him how it makes you feel.

fantasmasgoria1 Tue 28-Nov-17 15:38:20


NonplussedwithFB Tue 28-Nov-17 15:40:39

If his siblings 'like' it will be the final straw tbh. They've been pretty disrespectful e.g. Inviting her to family meals etc. She's always popping up in their comments etc.

NonplussedwithFB Tue 28-Nov-17 15:41:07

It does feel weird.

Tinselistacky Tue 28-Nov-17 15:41:32

Sounds like a subtle (or not) message tbh.

NonplussedwithFB Tue 28-Nov-17 15:43:35

A message saying?? tinsel

MrsXx4 Tue 28-Nov-17 15:45:52

Could it be an accident that he has shared it? maybe he just looked at it and clicked it by mistake?

Otherwise yes, it is weird and rather disrespectful towards you!

meowimacat Tue 28-Nov-17 15:46:58

SO weird. Unless he was single and they still had a good friendship, that is just odd. Very disrespectful to you, and his whole family seem to have no respect for you and if he isn't showing you respect then it's not surprising they aren't. The real question is why are you putting up with this treatment when you deserve better?
I would absolutely not stand for my bf sharing a photo of his ex publicly for everyone to see. It's humiliating and is a way of publicly declaring he misses her etc

So odd.

hellsbellsmelons Tue 28-Nov-17 15:49:15

I think the message is clear.
He still thinks about his ex all the time and he's probably not that 'into you'

Looneytune253 Tue 28-Nov-17 15:49:47

It depends, if they’re still very good friends I can see why he shared it. Unless they’re kissing or something I don’t necessarily think there’s anything to worry about

AntoniaR87 Tue 28-Nov-17 15:55:06

It depends if they are still close friends. My OH is close with his ex but she's married to someone else and he's with me so it's purely platonic. She's not aged very well either so I don't feel threatened. Otherwise it's definitely weird and you have every right to be pissed off

inlectorecumbit Tue 28-Nov-17 16:00:06

I would be uncomfortable with this. What happened to make her an ex?

ShyOyster Tue 28-Nov-17 16:02:31

I’m maybe in minority here but an an isolated incident it wouldn’t bother me much. It’s the context that matters here and I think that’s why it’s bothering you so much. Under the circumstances described in the op, I wouldn’t be overly impressed.
Disclaimer: I’m a bit of an oddball because I’m actually on fairly good terms with DP’s ex wife. She’s in a relationship, so is DP (obviously!) so it all worked out in the end.

Gemini69 Tue 28-Nov-17 16:04:11

This man is not the man for you... his family are not the family for you .... his family do not respect your relationship and he does not respect You OP flowers

Animation86 Tue 28-Nov-17 16:06:28

I think it depends on their connection now. I mean I have friends who have divorced but heck they are great friends and noone, not even my mates new fiance, would bat an eyelid if they shared the odd photograph of them. I mean if it was a habit, I'd be more concerned.

Breadwithgarlicon Tue 28-Nov-17 16:12:33

I also think it's the context that's important here. Did he add a comment which explained it? If not, knowing how his family have treated you and that he's with you and she's an ex, it sounds insensitive, at best, disrespectful and maybe even inflammatory.

Breadwithgarlicon Tue 28-Nov-17 16:14:19

* I meant insensitive at best and quite possibly disrespectful and maybe even inflammatory.

BenLui Tue 28-Nov-17 16:16:01

It’s more disrespectful of your partner to share it then for his family to comment on it.

NonplussedwithFB Tue 28-Nov-17 16:19:08

There is background. They haven't really separated their lives in many ways and it has been a repeated insecurity in our relationship. My ex who I have two children with and was married to and I have disentangled finances etc. much more cleanly than they have.

It's not isolated. But o don't want my insecurities to make me look like a crazy person tbh.

NonplussedwithFB Tue 28-Nov-17 16:21:21

No comment. Actually it wasn't his post now I've looked at it further. It's his sisters post, that they've both been tagged in and wasn't even dated today. It was a month ago but 8 years back. Even weirder.

NonplussedwithFB Tue 28-Nov-17 16:22:05

But he has shared his sisters post IYSWIM?

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