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Two months dating - what to expect for Birthday?

(122 Posts)
teaandcakeat8 Mon 27-Nov-17 14:38:49

Just that - I’ve been seeing a guy for a couple of months pretty regularly - at least twice a week. We haven’t talked about being exclusive but I’m fairly confident he isn’t seeing anyone else.

It’s my birthday tomorrow. I’m seeing friends for it in the evening but am seeing him tonight. He doesn’t seem too concerned - says he has no plans made but we can go out or he will cook - should I be expecting more effort at this stage?

I’ll be staying at his so will see him in the morning eg my actual birthday.

PinkHeart5914 Mon 27-Nov-17 14:44:13

I wouldn’t expect anything apart from a “happy birthday” message at this time, 2 months is no time to be have been dating really

RickJames Mon 27-Nov-17 14:45:41

Expect nothing and then you won't be disappointed! If he does or doesn't do something that makes you unhappy then it's good to find out so you can end it or talk it through.

It's just a birthday though - are you expecting a cake? wink

StereophonicallyChallenged Mon 27-Nov-17 14:46:26

I'd be expecting nothing tbh.

Two months in and not had a 'being exclusive' chat barely registers as a relationship imho. He might not know how you feel about him for instance and may not wish to invest in the unknown.

How much effort do you think he should make confused

StorminaBcup Mon 27-Nov-17 14:46:59

Cup of tea in bed and a card? I wouldn’t expect anything else really.

teaandcakeat8 Mon 27-Nov-17 14:52:13

I wasn’t really expecting anything other than maybe a card and that he might buy me a drink... my friends seem to think he should be going to great efforts but I don’t think he will.

Parisa78 Mon 27-Nov-17 14:56:36

"He might buy me a drink"

Does he not do this normally?

teaandcakeat8 Mon 27-Nov-17 14:57:21

Well yes if we go out...

Parisa78 Mon 27-Nov-17 15:01:23

If he knows it's your birthday, I'm sure he'll take you out for dinner or similar. If he's out to impress you it's a good opportunity to get you a gift. He might feel a bit awkward though as to what to get as he doesn't know you that well.

Moanyoldcow Mon 27-Nov-17 15:03:10

I'd expect a gift but a small one, nothing too personal. Maybe a nice diary, scarf, some perfume etc and then maybe a nice dinner.

Pinkpillows Mon 27-Nov-17 15:03:42

What's up with this exclusive chats? Yes staying over i assume you sleep together yet you don't know for sure if he isn't sleeping with someone else!! Think of your sexual health instead of a birthday

SilverySurfer Mon 27-Nov-17 15:13:05

After eight (ish) dates, I would not expect a birthday present.

Definitely agree with Pinkpillows.

teaandcakeat8 Mon 27-Nov-17 15:17:03

Ok I asked if he was dating anyone else and he said no, but this was just before we slept together, which was quite a while ago now. I’ve been assuming that still stands not not 100% sure.

It’s more than 8 dates, I would see we’ve seen each other about 20 times?

BitOutOfPractice Mon 27-Nov-17 15:19:49

I'd think a card and a bunch of flowers, maybe a glass of fizz with dinner. I'd do that for a friend

WillowWeeping Mon 27-Nov-17 15:22:22

I’d expect to be treated if I’d been dating someone for two months.

At the very least a card, and a small gift but also dinner/drinks.

Amatree Mon 27-Nov-17 15:25:43

I would expect some kind of gesture, not necessarily expensive but definitely something to show he cares. If he doesn't make an effort two months in he isn't going to after two years is he. Nothing wrong with having high expectations of how you want to be treated. The other way around I would get a bloke something like a book I thought he'd like and cook a really nice breakfast. Just a token to show some effort. It's a bit sad that so many people wouldn't even expect that, where is the romance?!

TheFifthKey Mon 27-Nov-17 15:29:17

I had my second date with someone on my birthday! I got a sweet little flower in a pot, card, little cake, and dinner made for me. Most recent BF, been dating 3 months ish, got a weekend away, small but thoughtful present, lovely cake and dinner out. A bit of a fuss is nice!

teaandcakeat8 Mon 27-Nov-17 15:40:14

So maybe I should rephrase - if someone didn’t do anything for your birthday - would it be a dealbreaker?

He definitely knows it’s tomorrow - have been celebrating with friends this weekend and sent some pictures.

lostfrequencies Mon 27-Nov-17 15:43:49

Just try and enjoy yourself, you’re analysing things before anything has even happened. Oh and happy birthday!

iwantacakenow Mon 27-Nov-17 15:44:54

I think you should be expecting a little something. If he sees your relationship going somewhere then I think a small gift (at this stage) just to show that he thought about you is reasonable to expect. You have seen each other 20 times...I wouldn't meet with someone for 20 times and not get them a little birthday gift.
OP please let us know what happens!! I'm just really nosy but I hope you have a great time and he gets you something nice!

BoredOnMatLeave Mon 27-Nov-17 15:48:43

Maybe I'm a bit of a princess but I would expect something, a card at least.

Thinking back I was dating someone about 6 weeks and had a birthday, he got me a card, small bottle of perfume and I think he took me out for dinner.

2 weeks later he was kissing some other girl when we were on a night out with friends so maybe don't use him as a good example

HotNatured Mon 27-Nov-17 15:50:18

Going by experience, after c 20 dates I would expect a small gift and dinner somewhere nice for sure. I would do the same. I've been w my current guy for two months and he would make a fuss for sure.

Trills Mon 27-Nov-17 15:52:55

If I expected anything I would make my expectations clear.

I wouldn't expect someone to read my mind.

He might be thinking I'd better not make too much of a fuss, I don't know how she feels, we haven't even talked about exclusivity, don't want to scare her off.

If you want to call this a relationship, you need to communicate.

GeekyWombat Mon 27-Nov-17 15:53:28

I had a birthday two months after I started seeing now DH, similarly had a night out / stayed over the day of my birthday.

He gave me a £7 paperback we’d been talking about, in a WHSmith carrier bag. It felt an appropriate level - not too scary or intense but a nice gesture. I got a happy birthday, coffee and croissants on the day which was nice too but unexpected.

palmfronds Mon 27-Nov-17 15:53:53

I would definitely be expecting something! I had a birthday 3 months in with my current DP - he bought me some Molton Brown stuff and a lovely necklace and took me out for dinner.

Given you've had quite a few dates I don't think I could help expecting to receive a little something! It doesn't need to be an expensive present but it's nice to have someone think of you and make a bit of an effort on your birthday.

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