Lost my mother 4 years ago after a short but agressive battle with cancer, I nursed her in final weeks, - very tough, then my father who depended on her was diagnosed with parkinsons shortly after and I cared for him along with my brother for a year or 2 before he lost mobility completely, had a couple of long spells in hospital and we had to arrange full time care at his home. just before my mother fell ill I started my own business, I'm a single mum and during my parents illnesses, I supported my DS through a degree (which was difficult for him beloved gps so ill) and DD through GCSE's onto futher ed. Toughest and most exhausting 4 years of my life, I broke down with exhaustion Jan 2015, spent a weekend in bed sleeping but pretty much got up the following Monday to get on with running my business, my home and supporting my family. My partner was living with me, in the home that I owned. Long story short, I have had a the first good year in five years. My business going from strength to strength. I was really feeling recovered from the loss of mum and coming to terms with dads' parkinsons. My DS had gone and spent some happy time in Australia after his degree and returned this year. I said to my DP, that this year on my mum's 4th anniversary, instead of feeling sad, I am going to look forward. I told him I had put away enough money to put in a new kitchen and office for us at home and wouldn't it be lovely to have both our families here for xmas, and with DS home from Australia. DP has commitment issues however. His mother walked out on him at 15 (she said his dad was difficult to live with). As a result DP doesn't believe in marriage, won't get married, despite that it was my hope to marry whilst my father still alive. Sometimes when I have looked forward to doing things, my partner has talked me out of them and disappointed me with his attitude. When I told him about doing the kitchen he turned on me and said what the f do I know about doing kitchens. I said look, I own the house, you don't want to pay to buy into it, you have to let me invest in my home to keep it maintained and you ought to let me at least choose the kitchen style and colour I want and yes of course I will involve you in the final planning and installation. DP just ranted at me that I haven't got a f-ing clue and really put me down. We ended up not speaking at home and I felt devastated as well as anxious. I begged him to come on board and be supportive, that I was doing this for all of us, but he was spiteful and bitter towards me. In the end he said to me, its your house, your money, so you sort it, I want nothing to do with it. In the end we had to separate as I had to commence work in order to be ready for xmas in time and he refused to acknowledge or help. I was investing £10k of my hard earned money for 'us'. As I own the house, my partner has always let me pay for the big stuff. New bathroom, carpets, sofas, curtains, anything of significant cost. He would pay for paint and small stuff but never the big stuff, that was always down to me, and with 2 kids to support also. I have now invested in this new kitchen and he has basically just buggered off, gone to live with his parents who are now helping him to rent a flat. - the family I was going to host for xmas. I feel so let down I do not know how to deal with this. I was in such a good place for the first time in four years after such a painful time. I feel like I have been punched in the chest and I cannot get up off the floor. I literally feel floored. I wake up in the morning, see my DP is not here and I can't believe what he has done to me. On top of this, my daughter's school friend committed suicide on my mother's anniversary recently, so we have had another trauma to deal with and just no support from DP at all. My DS DD and I are taking care of each other but this is tough. Any advice to help me deal with this much appreciated.
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Sweetheart I can't begin to imagine how you feel but be kind to yourself. It's your house, you do what pleases you, if you want a new kitchen have a new kitchen. Leave him to get on with his life and tbh he sounds like a knob. You deserve better, I've always said "no man is better than the wrong man". Be strong for you and your kids, have a wine, have a bath, have a good night's sleep, everything will get easier 
Don't want to read and run but I don't know what I can offer but sympathy. I'm not surprised you feel let down. It's so hard to stay strong all the time
Your "D" P sounds like a spoilt child. You'll be much happier without this freeloading loser in your life. I hope you realise this soon, once the initial shock has worn off
We'll ensure he is an ex, keep your DC close and move forward one day at a time 
you are an amazing warrior.
You sound like a very strong person OP. It may not feel like it now but things will get better.
Enjoy your new kitchen and growing your business.
You don't need this knobhead in your life. You deserve better.
You are amazing and well rid.
Enjoy your new kitchen in your own home with your lovely children.
I have a feeling it will turn out to be one of the loveliest christmas days you’ve had
He has treated you badly, that's pretty financially abusive tbh 
you are worth so much more!!
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