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How would you handle this?

(12 Posts)
CarlHickbread Sat 25-Nov-17 06:22:07

Been with DP 5 years and have two DCs. We occasionally use condoms but have hardly had sex at all recently due to us both being totally shattered. Our relationship is good and we are happy together.

When putting clothes away a while a go I noticed that there was 4/5 condoms in a packet, last night before we had sex DP said that there were none left. So I’m now wondering what has happened to the rest?

DP hasn’t been on any nights out or had an obvious opportunities to cheat. The only time he could would be when he was supposed to be at work but he hasn’t been working late at all.

Should I ask about the missing condoms? If so, how should I go about it? I don’t want him to feel accused if he hasn’t done anything.

RainyApril Sat 25-Nov-17 06:40:16

I don't see the point in asking. If there's an innocent explanation, he'll feel accused. If there's a dishonest explanation he'll lie, become better at hiding things and you'll be no further forward. But, now you have suspicions, you can be watchful.

SomeonesRealName Sat 25-Nov-17 06:41:58

Could they just have been moved and forgotten about in the heat of the moment? You’ve looked for them presumably?

CarlHickbread Sat 25-Nov-17 06:45:02

Yes I did have a look to see if they could’ve been moved but can’t see them.

TheNaze73 Sat 25-Nov-17 10:08:00

I think you need to confront him. Has he actually said he’s too tired for sex.

Joysmum Sat 25-Nov-17 10:12:42

I would say to him that I just remembered seeing some a while in x whilst polluting clothes away. Where has he put them as it’ll save you having to buy more.

Joysmum Sat 25-Nov-17 10:12:54


tiptopteepe Sat 25-Nov-17 10:23:22

I too do not see the point in asking unless there is any other evidence to suggest hes cheating. It may be that he just that they are lost somewhere in the house... he may have used them to wank into.... who knows. Unless theres other things that are making you suspicious i wouldnt bring it up because it will just seem accusatory and cause tension if he cant explain because he doesnt know. And if hes been wanking into them its just a bit awkward and invasive to ask about that.

CarlHickbread Sat 25-Nov-17 10:44:31

He has is too tired, he works in a hard and manual job and our DDs sleep has been utterly shit but seems to have got better recently.

I have no other reason to suspect anything, the condom thing was playing on my mind in the middle of the night as I couldn’t get back to sleep after waking up from a nightmare. It does seem like a bit of a non issue in the light of day now.

Apileofballyhoo Sat 25-Nov-17 10:47:17

Have a good hunt for them, they must be somewhere. Could it be a case of 'i have no clean socks' when they are right there in the drawer?

Josuk Sat 25-Nov-17 15:22:03

OP - I don’t get the math here. It’s a little confusing.
He said there were no condoms but there actually were several?
Was he trying to get out of having sex? Or wanting to have unprotected sex?

And then you say some numbers don’t add up?
Was there supposed to be more in the box? Did you buy the box - and are you certain when it was purchased and how many have been used since?

Afterthestorm Sat 25-Nov-17 15:33:55

It's not confusing Josul. Say for example there were 3 originally, then there are 0 now. They have not used them together. Therefore there are 3 missing. Have they developed legs? Or has he been using them elsewhere. Which do you think is most likely?

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