Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Why is he in jail?

(86 Posts)
Gaolbird Fri 24-Nov-17 12:12:40

Complete namechange just in case of links.
A week or so ago ds came home from school and said his best friends dad was going to jail, but he hadn't done anything. It was because a girl had got mad at him. I didnt pry but tried to instill the idea that you dont generally go to jail in this country unless you actually had done something you shouldn't have.
His friend was round on a playdate this week, and his dad is indeed now in jail. Didnt ask for any details when it was mentioned as kid was embarrassed.
My ds and this child have had regular playdates at each other's house.
My q is, what type of offence is he likely to have committed? Im sure i saw him at school after i first heard he was going to jail, so he obv wasn't taken into custody immediately. I (fortunately) have no experience with the system, but the only thing i can think of is possible dv or property damage??
Would you still let your ds play at theirs, not knowing the full story? Im a bit wary tbh.

forumdonkey Fri 24-Nov-17 12:20:20

If the friend of your ds is in your home, you're there to supervise, so that wouldn't be an issue imo . As for dad, have you Googled his name?

c3pu Fri 24-Nov-17 12:26:10

For an immediate custodial sentence it would have to be a serious offence, or a repeat offence.

Definitely google his name.

Myheartbelongsto Fri 24-Nov-17 12:28:46

My boyfriend has been to prison.

He went to court for a five year old driving offence and then he was gone.

He shared a cell with a young lad that had not paid his TV licence so try not to judge too much before you know the facts.

Mustang27 Fri 24-Nov-17 12:37:16

I'd want to know but at the moment if he is in jail there is no risk to your child so I wouldn't stress too much.

Gaolbird Fri 24-Nov-17 12:37:18

myheart this is why i was asking. I haven't judged (so don't judge me), but thought the 'girl was mad at him' comment was odd. As i said, i have no experience with ppl going to jail, so dont know what offences it covers. Naive maybe
I have no concerns about friend at our place, but not so sure about ds at theirs.
Good idea about googling. Does all petty crime' info make it online though?

HeckyPeck Fri 24-Nov-17 12:37:19

Could you speak to the other parent?

namechange2222 Fri 24-Nov-17 12:41:04

Do you mean you are concerned about your child playing at his friend's house atm or when the dad is released? If now you are being cruel. How do you imagine the boy is feeling? He hasn't done anything wrong.
As for when the father is released, it's probably likely that you or your children have been with other people who have been incarcerated (you just didnt know it) However as you do know, maybe google his name, local courts, local area etc. Then decide. But please please don't discriminate against the child because of what his father has done

Gaolbird Fri 24-Nov-17 12:41:21

Hecky his mum lives elsewhere with another man and their child. His dads partner is away, leaving him with grandparents atm. Tbh, i wouldn't ask anyway. She doesn't make an effort to talk to me unless she's texting to see if kid can get picked up from school and be taken to ours for a playdate. Odd way of doing it, to me, but ds enjoys him coming round, so...

Gaolbird Fri 24-Nov-17 12:43:30

Dont be stupid namechange, why would i be concerned with ds going there if dad isnt even there?? And im hardly discriminating against the kid if hes still coming round on playdates, am i??

Caulk Fri 24-Nov-17 12:43:53

My dad has been to jail a few times. The first time was because of images on his computer, which came about during an investigation after I reported him to the police.

The rest of the family told children it was because I was angry at him and because he tickled me too much...

Does your local paper print Court notices?

MorrisZapp Fri 24-Nov-17 12:47:15

Surely court judgements are public record?

To the rest of us, googling his name seems obvious, have you done this?

Missonihoni Fri 24-Nov-17 12:52:49

Why would i be concerned with ds going there if dad isnt even there?? And im hardly discriminating against the kid if hes still coming round on playdates, am i??

Sorry why are you asking could be anything at all and that's just what they have told the son ?

LunasSpectreSpecs Fri 24-Nov-17 12:53:32

Petty criminals woudln't be in jail. Jails are bursting at the seams. So actually he's done something very serious, or he has done more minor things so often that they've reached the end of their tether with him.

Google him!!!

FlowerPot1234 Fri 24-Nov-17 12:53:42

Isn't the first thing to do to google this? hmm

mindutopia Fri 24-Nov-17 12:55:27

I don't think it matters for now, but when he comes out of jail and will be looking after your DS when he is over there playing, yes, I would want to know. It could be some form of physical or sexual abuse of a child and no way in hell my kid would be going to someone's how if I suspected they could have harmed a child. If you aren't comfortable asking, I would keep playdates at yours (probably the kid is grateful to have a break from whatever is going on at home).

Gaolbird Fri 24-Nov-17 12:56:24

I dont know about the local paper, i dont really read it. Wouldn't i have missed it anyway, he was already in when i found out. I guess that could be online.
Haven't checked online as i cant remember his surname and will have to check with ds.

mindutopia Fri 24-Nov-17 12:56:50

Also, not all crimes are in the public record. My dh's step-FIL has a history of sexual abuse of a child. It's not on the public record and is incredibly difficult to request access to the files (I know because we've tried and were turned away, even though we had legitimate safeguarding concerns).

tiktok Fri 24-Nov-17 12:57:01

Court proceedings are public domain, unless there is something especially sensitive about them.

Search here:

www.thelawpages.com/court-cases/court-case-search.php?mode=1

TrojansAreSmegheads Fri 24-Nov-17 12:58:09

i would imagine he has done something to a woman and people are either trying to shield the child from what the father has done or the child is trying to protect himself by saying his dad is innocent.

Gaolbird Fri 24-Nov-17 12:59:24

Sorry why are you asking could be anything at all and that's just what they have told the son ?
I wouldn't have thought they'd say anything about an angry girl unless it was related. Or they would have said something completely innocuous instead.
Erm, im asking to get opinions as to how serious it may be hmm

Ttbb Fri 24-Nov-17 13:00:39

It could be shite collar crime like fraud or it could be a serious act of violence. You cannot know whether he is dangerouscto your son, only that he is a criminal. Do you know the father's full name? If so you can look him up on google, you can also see if you can find a transcript of the judgment in the law reports.

OurMiracle1106 Fri 24-Nov-17 13:01:50

If you know his full name you can go onto thelawpages.com register as a member of the public and find out

GabsAlot Fri 24-Nov-17 13:03:52

ptty criminals do go to jail i know of somone got 2 months for stealing from a shop

MyBrilliantDisguise Fri 24-Nov-17 13:05:29

"An angry girl" sounds like a woman has accused him of some kind of assault.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now