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Relationships

have I made right decision to ask my partner to leave

26 replies

lulutherapies · 24/11/2017 00:25

I was with my DP for five years, he is now 41 and I'm 49. He moved into my home 4 years ago. He got into some bad habits, not paying our new shared bills on time, I had to ask him every month all the time we lived together for his monthly rent. Sometimes he didn't have it and borrowed it from his mum and she would put it directly in my account. It made me angry when his mother paid it as I felt she was not helping him be responsible. He was a mummys boy. He was a pseudo husband as she had an unhappy marriage. Lots of things hav happened where she has trodden on my toes. For his 41st birthday, without asking me she booked a restaurant and invited his cousins, aunts, uncles but not my grown up children. We had such a row this day of the birthday meal, we split up. My partner was a tradesman, a nice friendly guy, but in 4 years living together, I still have a number of repairs to do to the home that needed fixing when he moved in. He likes a drink at weekends and would often spend much of weekend in front of tv or sleeping on sofa. Our weekends were very unproductive. More recently he was doing cocaine with friends before coming home to me on a Friday evening. I was increasingly disappointed, we had more and more arguments. I was working hard, my business doing well, I was starting to pay for some big home improvements but no contribution from him, not even to do the electrics in the end. Everyone says he is a really nice guy and fun, but the above behaviour was dragging me down. We had a big row, I told him he was making our house not feel like a home and asked him to leave. It's caused a big fall out of course, his mother has cut me and my children off as have his family. I'm a good woman, good morals, work hard but still found all of this hard to deal with. My children are hurt - they said he wasn't making an effort, acting more like a lodger... co-existing. DP would do anything for his mother in a heartbeat but wouldn't hesitate to tell me where to go... We could never have a row and resolve any issues because it was his way or the high way and if I didn't agree with him he would go to stay with his mother or father for a few days and then come back and never say sorry. I just thought he would grow up, man up and should I have given him more time to do so?

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WORKWORKWORKWORKWORKWORK · 24/11/2017 00:27

He’s in his forties. If he was 17 & in his first relationship then maybe. But he’s a man. He doesn’t pull his weight and he’s going on benders like a 20 year old, running to Mummy when he rinses all his cash on whatever he likes.

You are well rid!!