Brown envelope & crazy grandparents?

[Bella8]

Hi, my DH's parents became estranged 2 weeks after DS was born. It was DH's decision as he didn't want their unhealthy behaviour around our son but it was actually DH's Dad that initiated the estrangement. They are very difficult people to please and have caused DH so many issues over his lifetime that he actually had to have therapy to help him; even the therapist who said she always encourages saving relationships at all costs in this rare case actually agreed that his parents were infact better off estranged as they are bad for his health!
After the estrangement no contact has been made from both of his parents and they haven't contacted myself once to make any effort to see their only grandchild and have no interest in doing so. Well fast forward 8 and half months and DH's birthday comes up. Knock at the door and sent recorded delivery a birthday card appear in a 'typed out' brown envelope (not the original envelope the birthday card came in.) The card looks like it has been deliberately chosen to contain no words and has the cocky statement on the front 'happy birthday hope you have a spring in your step.' Then inside just Mam and dad with line underneath.

Dh is furious with this and believes they are being funny by sending this and can't understand why they have printed his name and address on the envelope when they don't ever do this. Also DH is annoyed and feels that this is their way of getting a dig rather than genuinely wanting contact and reaffirms that they aren't bothered about their grandchild.
What does everyone think of this?

[Mirrormirrorotw]

Bin it and move on

[Whereisthetinsel]

We are nc with my ils, we sent cards back recorded delivery.
Never heard anything since.

[AsMuchUseAsAMarzipanDildo]

I’m in similar position to your DH and I’d be really upset. Unless it was from moonpig etc then typed envelope was clearly so he didn’t recognise their handwriting and bin it before opening. Look at it this way, what if it was an ex girlfriend sending him unwanted, anonymous birthday cards? It would be stalking.

[Redglitter]

Could they have typed it to ensure you opened it? They probably knew if you recognised their handwriting it would be binned unopened

[Redglitter]

X post

[Pringlemunchers]

Could it have been from a company that sends cards ?

[ButterflyForest]

I agree- they must have typed it so that DH would open it.

Put it in the bin.

[Bella8]

Pringlemunchers & AsMuchUseAsAMarzipanDildo

Thanks, no unfortunately it wasn't a moonpig or company. It was purposefully typed on a different envelope to the original and then handwritten inside. The card itself wasn't the kind of card you'd send to make amnends either and DH was very upset by it.

[Guiltypleasures001]

Rip in half put back in env with their address with no stamp

[Bella8]

We haven't put it up and DH is upset because it seems they've sent it to get a dig at him rather than showing they're bothered at all about the only 9 month old grandson they have seen only once at 2 weeks old. We've never once stopped them seeing DS; they haven't asked or shown interest.

[Bella8]

their *

[mrsBeverleyGoldberg]

Don’t send it back because they’ll know they’ve got to you. Yes it is as typed to make sure it was opened. Get the book Toxic Parents by Susan Foreward. It’s really helpful with situations like this.

[AshleySilver]

Bin it. It's understandable that DH is furious. They have clearly demonstrated that you are right to continue with no contact.

[Bella8]

Thanks mrsBeverleyGoldberg yes we did consider sending it back but then we felt it would be feeding right into their hands. It's awful really all they had to do was send a nice card normally with nice words that showed their actually cared about DH and maybe a write a verse in saying hey want to see they grandchild but instead they seem to only ant to hurt DH.
Very odd people; never known anything like it an DH knows his dad will literally have spent ages choosing a card with the cocky statement on front and have done it all to get to him. We know this by his pay behaviour. I will suggest it to him thanks. I just feel really sorry for DH. Some how they always manage to ruin or taint his birthday in some way every year.

[BewareOfDragons]

We've never once stopped them seeing DS; they haven't asked or shown interest.

Well that seems a bit disingenuous. Your DH is estranged from them. I imagine that you are as well as a result. So how would they show interest if neither of you is speaking to them?

[Lozmatoz]

Sounds very upsetting. You could look into a restraining order, then they’re not allowed to contact him. May help, but could also antagonise.

[Bella8]

they

[Bella8]

BewareOfDragons I never stopped speaking to them DH did and his dad decided to make it permanent which a good bye message rather than give DH his space.

[Bella8]

with*

[yomellamoHelly]

Ceremonial burning?..... (Followed by a few drinks)

[yomellamoHelly]

• Wouldn't want it hanging around the house -

[GrockleBocs]

Bin it. Don't give it headspace. You'll be able to spot next year's. Then DH can decide whether to open it.

[Bella8]

They are very odd people it's very complicated but basically we've bent over backwards for years trying to please them but it has never been enough. The last straw for DH was when his dad stopped speaking to us for 3 months while I was pregnant with his Grandchild. The reason being his dad demanded DH and I get him and his mother something 'nice for Xmas' and told DH what to spend. DH explained we couldn't afford it and had already got the gifts in already as tonne organised for the baby coming and that we always get nice things. This warranted DH's dad to not allow us over to their home at Xmas and not wish us a happy new year and 3 months of silent treatment. Not surprising after this DH wanted alittle space to which his dad would not allow and sent a final text message severing all contact to myself and DS. No care in the world for his only grandson.

[Bella8]

yomellamoHelly Haha I like your thinking...

[diddl]

He's giving it far too much headspace.

Very sly of them to do it this way.

Don't get why he's so wound up about the words on it?