LONG POST ALERT!!!
I have been dating a widower for four months now. The most amazing dates we had were when the kids were away for two weeks at grandma's in Spain. I can remember how happy and excited he was. When kids were younger, they had au pairs live with them to help out so dad could have some free time. So when we met, he was confident things were going to be the same again this year. Unfortunately, with the kids older and au pairs preferring to work with younger kids, the search for an au pair yielded a negative result. He started to realise that things weren't going to be easy but remained optimistic that we would find a solution. We talked about him getting a babysitter but in the process, I realised he didn't feel comfortable leaving kids with strangers (for example, ringing an agency and booking someone just like that). After looking, he got one (a student) but she wasn't sure of travelling in the night incase he was out late. In the end, that fell through. He began to get frustrated , stressed and sad. To be honest, feels like when things weren't working out as he had expected, instead of finding solutions, he just gave up and resorted to drinking. Not sleeping and drinking aren't two great combinations.
During half term, he tried organising sleepovers for the kids so we could have some quality time together, but the boy's friend was going away so that didn't work. Instead we had about two hours when the kids were out with friends. Then last week was late wife's birthday and next month will be three years since she passed away. He hasn't been in touch since last week Tuesday, in fact, communication started getting bad when he couldn't get help with the kids, he has no family around to help. The son doesn't mind him dating again but the girl said NO and wasn't happy. The kids said NO to an au pair and getting a babysitter. I told him we can just end things if it was too much of a hassle, but refused that suggestion. That I make him happy, but I feel like he doesn't want me anymore and I don't think I can go on with this relationship any longer. Without communication, it's hard for me to carry on, however much I understand what he's going through. Worst mistake was to fall for this guy too soon and it hurts to be left in the dark. So am thinking of messaging him and ending things.
Am I being unreasonable, please advise!!
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Relationships
Dating a widower & want to end this relationship.
Blessed81 · 21/11/2017 13:55
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