I've posted about my narc identical twin on here before. Went NC two years ago after years of low-level abuse includin always putting me down, saying noone would ever marry me, I'd never know what its like to be a mother (well, who would shag me?).
Culminating in her ignoring my DS's 1st and 2cnd birthdy, treating him like she treated me ie-as if he isnt good enough and finally the piece d resistance where she publically slagged me on social media to family and friends about my wedding, saying I looked a knob in my wedding dress.
So, thats the basic NC- I won't bore you with the whole story. I've accepted the fact I will never be good enough for her and her social climbing ways, its ok to be me as me isnt a bad person (many of her former friends have attested to this).
So I just crack on, doing my best and being happy!
Except we've always had that bond every most twins have. She chose to deny it as I embarass her, I embraced it. I've felt her labour pains (she told me she hoped it fuckin hurt and it was the closest I'd ever get as my life is a joke ). I know when she's in pain, when she was on the phone and I know when she is sad. I keep meeting her out walking the dog or at bonfire night. I feel this gut feeling if I walk into the shop and I know she's in there. and yup, I meet her and am duly looked down at.
I can't seem to switch it off. Over the last fortnight or so, the incidences of seeing her have increased, despite me trying to avoid it.
Last night, I walked the dog an hour earlier than usual as we often meet that way. I walked to the end of the park, and I knew she was close. So I turned around, retraced my steps and.....ran into her!
My friend said why don't you try saying hello. Because that lets her back into my head, where its all my fault for being me. The inevitable hurt and FOG I feel for not being the fuck up I need to be to make her feel better about her life.
Sorry for the long post, well done for getting to the end! Feel better for getting that out! Any advice welcome!
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
How do I 'turn off' the bond I have with NC twin?
Nottheeviltwin · 20/11/2017 22:35
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.