Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

My DD’s father is telling her to keep secrets from me

(5 Posts)
Lovemenoooooww Sun 19-Nov-17 15:16:48

My DD told me that her Dad told her not to tell me if she gets ill. I found out after finding out she had temp. and sore throat when I asked how long she’d felt ill she told me a few days “but daddy told me not to tell you.” He was supposed to take her to a family do this weekend.

What do I do? He has a history of DV against me and in general with women ( multiple charges and arrests) he is a compulsive liar and hugely manipulative. This does not surprise me in the least.

I’ve withheld contact before due to safeguarding concerns, fear for her safety, him and his partner using drugs etc

He took me to court not long ago for more contact and now has a contact order in place for school pickups and every other weekend. He had to sign an undertaking to court to state he wouldn’t allow drugs around my child.

He hasn’t kept to the order at all and has missed almost every weekend he has been granted. He simply doesn’t show up and then pretends like nothing’s happened.

And now this..my daughter has now told me he told her not to tell me if she gets ill. He has completely denied saying this, in affect calling my DD (8 and 1/2) a liar. I believe her completely as she isn’t a storyteller or liar and this is something he would do.

I’ve withheld contact since last week, eversince she told me.

How seriously will CAFCASS treat her word against his? I’m livid he is denying this and doing this to my DD.

abbsisspartacus Sun 19-Nov-17 15:19:21

Probably not serious in there eyes at all sorry xx

Angelwendy Sun 19-Nov-17 15:22:59

They probably wouldn't take it that seriously unfortunately. How old is your DD? Would she understand if you tell her to never keep anything from you again even if her dad tells her to?

SandyY2K Sun 19-Nov-17 15:25:44

I think it's worth telling CAFCASS, as at least there will be a record of it.

If they don't do anything..try the local authority safeguarding department.

Most of all ...make sure you tell her to always tell you us she's ill and ignore her dad. Take her to the doctors and get her to tell the GP .. so you have a professional witness.

Lovemenoooooww Sun 19-Nov-17 15:27:56

Thanks for your replies.

Yes, I’ve told her not to keep secrets etc and I’m very happy she’s told me and have let her know I’m proud she did

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now