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Is that crazy? - private investigator

(72 Posts)
Batulay Sun 19-Nov-17 08:55:58

Hiya, long story short:
Met the most amazing guy online
Chatted for about a week
Having been single for a long time, over a silly thing I freaked out and ended it abruptly
Tried to message him again, he hasn't logged in in ages
That was back in August
Can't find a guy that half as good as he was, not just saying it, the guy had me hooked, realised that too late
I'm thinking, if by the end of this month he doesn't log in, I'll get a private investigator to track him down
I've asked one for a quote, not massively expensive
If it comes to it, prepared to take a 'no' from him, but at least I can find some sort of closure then. I'm sort of hanging at the moment

Is that crazy?

LabradorMama Sun 19-Nov-17 08:57:07

Yes. Forget it and move on.

ChunkyKnitCardigan Sun 19-Nov-17 08:57:08

Yes I’m afraid I think this crazy.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat Sun 19-Nov-17 08:59:49

You sound totally nuts. confused

ijustwannadance Sun 19-Nov-17 09:02:59

You sound like an unhinged stalker.
Leave him alone.

Justbookedasummmerholiday Sun 19-Nov-17 09:04:45

How exactly is the PI gonna make him have a relationship with you?

AlternativeTentacle Sun 19-Nov-17 09:05:51

Batshit. Leave the man alone.

fucksakefay Sun 19-Nov-17 09:10:51

Yes batshit crazy
You've built him up in your mind

DontTouchTheCharredCrotch Sun 19-Nov-17 09:12:18

Step away from the internet and chop up your bank card - this is nuts!

PricillaQueenOfTheDesert Sun 19-Nov-17 09:12:46

I presume you met him on a dating site.

Have you considered he may not log in because he has found someone and is now happily settled down, hell if he last was on in August he could be married or engaged now. (Unlikely I realise but entirely possible) Or maybe he has given up on dating as your reaction to whatever it was he did that made you blow him out made him realise that women are confusing.

You had your chance, you blew it. Let him go and in answer to your question YES you are crazy to try to track him down, it’s stalkerish at best and definitely weird. You chatted for a week, a week, I don’t know if you actually met physically, but a week of online chatting is not enough for you to be so hung up on him.

I don’t think you’re ready to date, you sound creepy weird and scarey. If you think you’re being cute, you’re not.

AlternativeTentacle Sun 19-Nov-17 09:13:43

Tried to message him again, he hasn't logged in in ages

He probably doesn't want to poke the crazy.

Step away, this will not end well...

LoveLights Sun 19-Nov-17 09:14:48

⬆️ this

Toprated Sun 19-Nov-17 09:14:58

Why don't you just try to find him on Facebook?

Olicity17 Sun 19-Nov-17 09:15:03

Are you the poster thay was thinking of turning up at his work? It's an almost identical story.

You need to let this go. Its stalker behaviour, not healthy and would make most people run a 100 miles.

You messed up. You need to accept that and move on.

MissBax Sun 19-Nov-17 09:15:20


tsonlyme Sun 19-Nov-17 09:15:56

Crazy bonkers 😂

ReturnOfTheMackYesItIs Sun 19-Nov-17 09:16:05

No don't do this, you have gone wrong in your think tank.

Only1scoop Sun 19-Nov-17 09:16:48

How creepy

AlternativeTentacle Sun 19-Nov-17 09:17:46

Why don't you just try to find him on Facebook?

No - don't give her ideas! Let the man be.

Men are entitled to not be harassed as much as women are.

chipsandpeas Sun 19-Nov-17 09:20:05

did you actually meet him?

Hermonie2016 Sun 19-Nov-17 09:20:52

Did you actually meet him? If you let him go trust that you did for very good reasons.Keep repeating this.

It's not rational behaviour and shows you are tipping over into obsessing about him.

I guess you are despondent because you haven't met anyone else but I think you have to deal with those feelings rather than displace them on this man.

prettypetal Sun 19-Nov-17 09:25:19

Never. Ever. Ever...... be this girl. And right now ..... you ARE being this girl .... watch the video & repeat to yourself .... that you do not want to be THIS girl ......

ScreamingValenta Sun 19-Nov-17 09:26:23

Put yourself in his shoes - how would you feel if someone you'd chatted to for a week, had no contact with since, and had probably forgotten about, suddenly sent a PI to shadow movements. It would be terrifying! Even if you had liked the person at the time, this would put any rational person off for good.

If he logs into the site again, all well and good - he has the choice whether to message you again. If he doesn't, you'll just have to move on. A week is nowhere near long enough to know whether someone is compatible - the chances are he would have turned out nowhere near as great as you think he is - you've put him on a pedestal and constructed a fantasy around him because he's unattainable.

ALittleBitConfused1 Sun 19-Nov-17 09:27:35

You met a men online and spoke to him for a week but he had you hooked. Op you don't know him, he could be anything and anyone. You only knew the version of himself that he choose to show you. A couple more weeks or a few dates down the line and you may well have thought sod that he isn't for me.
When you ended the communication did you do it hoping he would beg you not to?
Maybe he hasn't logged on because he has met someone, maybe he just doesn't want to continue meeting/talking to people online anymore, whatever his reasons you don't have any right to track him down and invade his personal life.
Even if you did find him, and he is single, do you think he would be interested in continuing contact or beginning a relationship with someone who had gone to those extremes? Personally, if i was him, I would be more keen to slap you with a restraining order than starting any kind of relationship.
Op I really think you need to forget this man and do some investigation into your own head rather than his life.
Why have you become so invested in someone you spoke to for a week.
Why is this even having any kind of impact on your life
Why did you react so extremely to something he said
Why do you think it's perfectly ok to pay someone to effectively stalk someone you do not know

holdbackonthewine Sun 19-Nov-17 09:34:18

Wow Pretty just listened to that YouTube link
which is both funny and sad. OP leave well
alone. He could find you if he wanted to.

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