Date nights...

[mumof2sarah]

Last night me and DP had some alone time for the first time in ages. Nothing "like that" 🙈 once our beautiful kids were in bed and settled we snuggled on the couch under a throw and we put down our phones and watched a film. It was so nice. We're still so in love, even after 8 years but we're just not as fixated on each other anymore in that sense, in the new stages of our relationship, we'd spend every night together, relaxing and talking. We rarely have time together like that anymore, there's always a phone in front of one of us, kids, work, anxiety, endometriosis, life in general. Last night it made me realise, we need to try harder, we need to focus on us a bit more. I definately need to try harder. I've got a gem in him, through thick and thin and definately in sickness he's been amazing, working a million hours and still coming home to take of me and our darling children. I want to do something once a week, something for us two. Something to give us our time. I'm after some suggestions, of ideas. I can get a sitter maybe once a month but I want some ideas of nice things to do that we can both appreciate. Also any nice romantic hotels/B&Bs or lodges etc with amazing views in the northwest/north of the UK please x

[user1497997754]

We have a date night once a month....theatre, cinema, swimming, meal, concert, but every night we cuddle up under comfy throws with tealights on and woodburner lit. We have 2 dogs so lots of dog wLking on beaches and river walks.

[Isadora2007]

Board games.
Talk. Talk about life in general- where you are now in life, where you’d like to be in the future, plans for retirement even. Maybe a map of places or a “bucket list” of things to do before your 10 year anniversary.
Watch a series together.
Read a book and discuss it afterwards like a mini book group.
Yoga or exercises together
Bath or shower
Massage
Cool for each other.
Bake together.


Have fun! 💕

[mumof2sarah]

Thank you both of you. I've got this list upto now:

Bath by candle light (something we used to do regular before kids)
Movie night (cinema or home)
Park/canal walks
Romantic meals (out or in)
Mystery drives
Bed and relax

We do talk constantly.. he tells me he loves me every time he's hanging up if we're on the phone, when he comes in, goes out or just passing me and I love that but I want to try and do something nice all the time.

I'm sorry if I sound dreary, I know usually this is a place for asking for advice in worse situations BUT I feel it's nice to share a happy thing and want some advice in that sense xx

[mindutopia]

I really second the date night out once a month if you can afford it. We only do it about every other month (and soon not at all with another small baby), but it's made a massive difference. We also really try to make Friday and Saturday nights our nights at home. We don't eat with our dd those nights. We have a nice grown up dinner alone after she's gone to bed, no work (we both work from home so we work other evenings), wine (well, when I'm not pregnant), stay up late together, etc.

[mumof2sarah]

@mindutopia thank you, we have said we're going to try and get out once a month, even if it is just to go for a walk or something. We struggle for sitters, my parents both have been poorly and struggling and I can appreciate them not wanting to have her over night ATM (they do have them a cpl of hours during the day etc) and my inlaws are all for DPs other brother and his partner, they have their kids every weekend and when we do ask them to babysit, the plans are always changed to suit the other brother or they can only have them until bedtime etc. Like we say it's their loss though, so we try and do date nights when my best friend (godmother extraordinaire) isn't working (she works in a club) and will happily take them for as long as we need/ask ❤️

[gttia]

I don't know how old your children are but I get our teen and pre teens on board. So they get a treat - fizzy drink, sweets etc in exchange for not coming downstairs after 8pm.They settle themselves to bed so they get a little freedom and we enjoy a special meal like an m and s £10 deal, or something we've cooked together.
Obviously if their younger it's more difficult, I started this when they were @8 and 6. They love their Friday time out now and we love our date night! Phones left upstairs etc.
We are lucky we get two child free nights a month so go out also but it wasn't always this way and have had some great nights in dating! Enjoy x

[Seeds1962]

We have to cram our personal, adult, married couple life into when DD is at college, so we tend to go out to lunch at a local nice pub or sit down in the daytime and watch some TV programme we've recorded and cuddle on the sofa. We don't get time in the evenings together so that's our bonding time

[mumof2sarah]

Yeah we've just been saying from now on when he's on afternoons we're gonna go out for breakfast once we've dropped the kids off at school once a week I really like that idea because we do love our breakfast times lol x

[TammySwansonTwo]

Sounds like us, even down to the endo, except we have 14 month old twins and haven't had a night out since. One is really ill and his illness is too complex to leave with someone else.

We snuggle up in front of the tv every night and now have sex most nights when I'm not in pain. Makes a big difference!

[mumof2sarah]

@TammySwansonTwo that is still mostly off the table ATM unfortunately, I'm really struggling ATM, it's causing me to become depressed. He always tells me not too worry, just being together is important to him. I feel bad and I know it must frustrate him to an extent but he copes well lol 🙈 we've just had an hour and a half where the kids were busy so we've laid on the sofa watching grace and frankie and it's been so so nice x

[TammySwansonTwo]

You'll get there - took me a year after the twins were born for my sex drive to come back so making up for lost time now I guess! Don't stress about it, it only makes things worse